On my sleeve

The mirror's passion

When I take a look at you, I tend to feel a tinge of guilt & sorrow. Where my actions have placed you now make made me realize I haven't given you the best treatment.
I hate to see the tears that roll down your eyes whenever my mind goes back to those bad memories. Visions fake friends & family I tried so hard to please, only to end up making you feel empty.
Used to wonder why the world plagued me with such a bad slate to start me off with..........
........Only to recognize that I was in control of every thought & actions from the moment I started breathing.
Almost lost my mind, but in return, I gained my soul. Now I'm in the process of changing my miserable ways.
Deep down in my soul, there was a beast. A savage entrapped with the burning chains of society. Their sole intent was to eradicate what they deemed to be "toxic masculinity" & I lived my childhood as a hopeless beta........no dad, no good father figures.........just a bunch of uncontrollable emotion from being surrounded by feminine energy for years.
I was brainwashed to believe that I should feel shame for trying to be a man.........when in reality, I was destined to become an extraordinary human being.
Mentally, I started to tear the chains off of my inner beast. Unleashing him from his prison made from society's indoctrination & my own pointless fear. Years were wasted.........stuck on a mixed feeling of anger, regret, sadness, confusion, & finally.........relief.
I had finally come to the realization..........that I was in control the whole time.
I finally learned the values of manhood that I needed to learn growing up at the age of 19..........damn near adulthood.
After my moment of mixed feelings..........I was glad to finally learn it, as there are men walking this earth who will die weak minded.........bless their poor souls.........
So, with that being said, I hope you'll take this as my apology for the cowardly & unplanned actions I've done over the years.
I intend to mold you into a being of divine movement & thought.
I found the poisonous root of the problem, & it mainly stemmed from family's toxic ways............
But now, we're on our own. & I intend to care for you, cause I know you'll do the same in return...........Maãlík.
- Maãlík