I hate my goddamn life so much. Being beaten and broken and raped and tortured literally all of my life and I'm still alive. Funny how that fucking works... it's amazing how I am still here when I have nothing but anxiety attacks, depression, suicidal thoughts... I don't tell anyone this but I cut already three times each night and no one notices how broken I am. Funny..right..? I won't ever tell josh...I hate lying to him....he's been there for me and I treated him like shit... I can't tell AJ either...I don't know what he would do...I just don't know what to do anymore. Things are getting so much worse and I can't do anything about it... what is someone supposed to do with a broken girl who can't do anything with her life...? Who wants a person with scars half an inch deep? Who the hell wants a person who has suicidal thoughts 24 fucking 7? Who in the world would ever want a girl that screams in her pillow at night fighting with herself about suicide...? No one..... that's who...
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