Hold on until May

Chapter 2.

Arizona

            I sat in Drew’s truck and scrunched my nose. It smelt like sweaty socks, cheap cologne, and gasoline. None of those smells should ever mix because it smells rank. I roll the window down a hair and pull my sweater to cover my face as the cold broke in. As we started leaving the parking lot I motioned myself to put on my seat belt. The problem was there was no seatbelt. I sighed and pressed my head on the cold window and the autumn wind hit my face and I didn’t bother. “North 12th is my street.” I mumbled.

            He replied, “Okay,” silence, “Sorry I don’t talk all the often.” He chuckled and put his hand on my knee and I look down at it.

            “It’s okay I like silence.” I’m already telling lies. Silence brings the monsters which keep me from doing anything human like eat, sleep or even speak. I don’t want to be in silence, “I would prefer conversations for a change though,” cleared that up.

            “Well then tell me about you.” He chirped. I set my small hand on his that rested on my knee.

            “What is there to know?” I tested

            Drew mumbled, “Everything,” So I did.

            “I was like everyone else; just I wasn’t friends with anyone. Then middle school I started getting picked on and my mother lost her battle by cancer. It was really hard because my father and I had medical bills eating us alive and so my father turned to painkillers and booze. He took everything out on me until my aunt got in the picture. Yeah he married my mom’s sister. She’s now pregnant and he’s happy but I’m still lost not knowing what the hell to do with my life.” Once I got all that out he was parked I my drive way. We both were silent not knowing what to say next. So I spoke some more, “But, I really can’t be lost because being lost you know where you are supposed to be and I really don’t even know that.”

            Drew turned his hand and pressed are palms together. I can feel the warmth in his and he can feel the cold in mine. He gave mine a light squeeze and he recalled, “You know exactly where you want to be. You want to be happy and normal but there is no normal. That is okay.” He stared into my eyes like he found something in me I didn’t even know I had. “This might be a weird question, but it’s probably the end of the third quarter and I don’t feel like going back so can I hang here?” He asked and I gave his hand a squeeze.

“OHMYGOSH THERE IS A BOY GOING INTO MY HOUSE AND IT’S A WRECK!” My insides screamed. But all I could get out was, “Sure doesn’t mind me.”  He opened the truck door and hoped out and I followed. 

I in laced my fingers with his like he did in the car and we walked together to the front door. Don’t ask me why because I don’t have a clear answer. I just know that he picked me and I ended up picking him back. It just felt right and it felt good. Sometimes just to feel can make you better in any sense.