It hit me, so hard
this pit, in the bottom of my stomach
I feel a loss of breath
I start shaking
I cant sit still
because i know if i do
ill start to think
think about you
about my life
about everything thats slowly killing me
i keep saying im ok im alright
but as soon as i stop and think
all i feel is pain
and that pain just pushes all of my insecurities
to the front of my mind
that pain reminds me
that no matter what i do
ill always be a failure
a failure to you
to my parents
to myself
that pain will haunt me
throughout the day
so every spare second is torture
because ill stop and think
think about myself
think about the things i do wrong
think about the people i hurt
i wish i could turn it off
i wish i could make it stop
because these voices in my head are overwhelming
they are too much for me to handle
how do i shut them up for good
