The Missing Soldier (Book One)

Chapter Three

Joseph finally woke up about nine o'clock, I smiled as he walked out to the living room and began to watch his cartoons without even bugging me or talking yet. He stayed like that for about a half hour, before looking up at me.

"Juice." He demanded which made me chuckles as I shook my head, and walked toward kitchen to refill my coffee and to get him his juice. He was not a morning person, which I didn't really know where he got that from. He didn't really interact with me unless he had his breakfast and his juice.

"You ready for breakfast yet bud?" I asked as I gave him his sippy cup, he shook his head yes extremely fast. Which seemed to make him a bit dizzy after that. I remember for his first Christmas, he had met his uncle first time. He was about a year and a half at the time.  His uncle had called him bud and messed up his hair. Joseph had looked up from where he was playing with his toy reindeer and just burst with hey bud. That whole bit was the laugh of the  night.

"Are eggs okay?" I asked as I walked away to begin cooking his breakfast, he said yeah before watching his cartoons again. I had to laugh and snap a pic, he looked so small on the huge couch. I giggled and quickly began me and him some breakfast after glancing at the time on the stove.

"I'm sorry about this morning..." Ann spoke in a small and hesitant voice when she entered the kitchen, she was still in her pajamas which was unlike her. Her hair was all kinds of messed up and her eyes were red and puffy. One look at her and I could tell that she was deeply about what she had said this morning. It was unusual of her to appear like this, usually when she came out of her bedroom her at the house she was already dressed and had her hair all neat.

"It's whatever, it's in the past now." I sighed before turning around and checking on the eggs in the pan on the stove. "Can you put some bread in the toaster please?" I asked before she had the chance to slump out of the kitchen, she smiled softly before nodding her head yes.

"Lexi and Josh are coming over around noon today." She spoke as she popped two pieces in the toaster and waited for them to pop, she began to tap her fingers along the countertop. Josh and Lexi are my brother-in-law and niece from Michael's side of the family. Lexi was an absolute doll, and got along well with Joseph which was nice. Josh was a bit of a hard ass, but seeing as he served as he can understand why. He lost his wife Amelia, Lexi's mom, in a car crash about a year ago now.

"How come?" I asked as I cut up my son's eggs and took the pieces of toast from Ann, I gestured for me to follow me as I walked into the living room with both of the plates in my hands. I sat down Joseph's plate in front of him and then sat right next to him, with Ann on the other side.

"Just to see how the both of us are doing with everything that's happened.. " She spoke trailing of a bit, and looking down at her piece of toast with peanut butter on them. I rolled my eyes and giggled a bit, Josh could be such a mother hen at times I swear.  He called me at least twice a week, but I only picked up like once. Me and him are actually really close, he views me as his little sister and I see him as the older brother that I've always wanted. 

"It'll be good, for the both of us. It's been a while since I've seen him." I spoke softly as I smiled to myself, Ann hummed as she got up to head out into the kitchen.  Ann nodded as she refilled my coffee. I smiled at her in gratitude, all she did was just start humming as she began to cook herself some breakfast in the kitchen. I just wanted all of this to be over. I was starting to get tired of being watched and being babysat. I wanted to flash forward to where we all healed. To where there was no sobbing and waking up screaming every day. Now I knew that we wouldn't all be completely healed, but all I was asking was for a little bit of healing. Just a little bit. That's all I'm asking for. 

"You okay hun?" I heard Anne ask me, I opened my mouth to explain to her that I was fine. But was I? Were any of us? I sat there for a couple of moments just staring at my lap with the most bewildered look on my face. I didn't really know how to answer her. Some part of me wanted to tell her exactly what I was feeling and thinking. While the other part of me wanted to tell her that I was fine. 

" I don't really know I guess." Was the most truthful answer I could say. I wasn't lying, but I wasn't telling the truth exactly either. I need to figure out my thoughts and my feelings. Or lack there of. I was just kind of feeling numb at the moment. I decided to excuse myself and ask her to watch Joseph for about an hour. I was in desperate need of a long, hot shower. They always helped me to calm down and get my thoughts in order when I was feeling lost and out of control. I usually take a shower in the morning and then a warm bath at night as a way to de-stress.