The Missing Soldier (Book One)

Chapter One

I still remember the day like it was yesterday, I remembered both of them. The day they called his name aloud on the television and the day that I heard that fatal knock on the front door. I watched as Joshua played with his toys, right now he was running a train back and forth on the railroad tracks in front of him. He was making the little vroom vroom noises with his mouth as he played which brought a small smile to my lips.

"You doing all right?" Ann, my mother-in-law, spoke from behind me. I jumped a little bit and turned around, she was just standing there smiling sheepishly holding out a mug that looked like hot tea. I smiled back and shrugged in answer to her question, her eyes looked sad as she handed me the mug. Her blonde hair was framing her face, her curls were dirty and messed up, her freckles were splattered throughout her face and weren't hidden for once.

"I'm just... confused..." I said before taking a sip and internally sighing at the taste of hot green tea, she nodded like she understood what I was talking about. But how could she, when I didn't even know what I was talking about.

"Your confused about what happened to him, confused about what to do with Joseph and where to go with your life from now on." She spoke as she looked at Joseph and smiled, he looked so much like his dad. It pains me sometimes to look at him and see Michael's eyes staring back at me. I could never hate him for that though. I also love that I have something left of him and me mixed to be with me my whole life.

"How did you know?" I asked her looking directly at her with my head tilted. she hummed a bit as she thought about what she gonna say before taking a small sip of her tea.

"Because these are all the things that I ask myself daily, for you it's different though because your his wife and the mother of his son. But for me I'm his mom, well was his mom." She said as her voice cracked a little bit at the end.

"No, your still his mother no matter what anyone says, no matter if he's... dead... or wherever he is." I said as I laid my hand on her shoulder and gave her a squeeze for comfort, she placed her hand on top of mine and gave me a squeeze back. She sighed and walked back into the kitchen to place her cup in the sink and walk towards the guest room where she was staying. I hated that word. The chills it sent down my spine whenever I said, or thought about it. The nausea that placed itself in my stomach every single time.

"Mama I hungry!" Joseph said as he pulled on my pant leg to get my attention, I looked down at him and smiled softly at him. I ruffled his hair just a tad bit, but he shook his head to get his hair away from me. I picked him up and set him on my hip, before walking into the kitchen. He was probably getting a bit too big for this but I could really care less. Dang it let me baby him just a little bit more.

"How about a Pb and j? Does that sound good?" I asked as I set him on the counter next to the fridge, I grab his little feet and tickle them a little bit. He giggles and nods his head yes as fast as he could, he starts bouncing and clapping his hands. I set the ingredients on the counter and begin to make him his sandwich. After I'm done I set the sandwich on the plate and walked over to the table I set it down, before going back over and swinging Joseph onto my hip.

"All right now you eat up while I make myself some lunch" I smiled before walking back into the kitchen to make myself an egg sandwich, I quickly cracked an egg into the pan before bringing out the bread, cheese and mayo. Micheal always thought I was weird and odd for liking egg sandwiches. He could never learn to like them, but that was fine for me.

"Mama?" Joseph called from the dining room, I peeked around the wall and saw sitting there while staring at his Pb and j absolutely confused. I chuckled and walked over after taking my egg off the stove and set it onto a slice of bread, I would finish making my sandwich later.

"Yes dear?" I asked as I squatted down in front of him so I could place my hand on his shoulder, his eyebrows were all scrunched together and I could see that he was biting the inside of his cheek. A trait he had learned from his father, no matter how hard I had tried to break it, I never could.

"Where's daddy?" He asked as he looked up at me, his big dark brown eyes full of hurt and tears. I sighed he had been asking these kind of questions for about a month now, he knew something was wrong but he didn't exactly know what. He missed him, and didn't understand why Micheal hadn't come back yet.

"Honey, daddy went away to fight in the war and he got hurt... and he might not be coming back..." I spoke as my voice began breaking about halfway through my explanation, he looked at me his eyes rapidly filling with tears which began to spill over onto his cheeks. His lower lip began to tremble as well. I quickly swept him up in my arms and began rocking back and forth, he sobbed into my shirt and holding me as tight as he could.

"No... why?" He sobbed as he clutched onto my shirt, even though he was so little he understood a bit of what I had said. Which what broke my heart even more...