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how richie ended up at the arcade with henry and his cousin, he wasn't quite sure. surprisingly he wasn't having an awful time, he did however, wish eddie kaspbrak was there with him. with his doe eyes and soft smile.

"richie did you die over there?" henry called, snapping richie out of his thoughts.

"no, no i'm coming."

henry's cousin smiled at him softly and resumed playing the game in from of him.

"what game is that?" richie asked, sitting down beside the other boy. henry became bored of the interaction and wandered off, probably to bully some younger kids into giving him money.

"street fighter" the boy replied, his brows furrowed in concentration. after a minute of richie sitting there in silence, the boy spoke up again. "wanna play with me?"

richie tozier wasn't used to anyone wanting anything to do with him, yet here he was, sitting beside a boy who, undoubtedly was incredibly attractive, asking him to play a game with him. someone wanted richie, someone other than eddie.

richie was overjoyed so he quickly said yes moving closer to the other boy.

the game was quick but in the end richie won surprisingly, considering he had never played the game before.

"you're pretty good" the other boy spoke, catching richies eyes. the sat there for a second eyes locked, richie could feel a warm blush spreading across his cheeks.

henry's cousin quickly looked away when he saw henry drawing nearer.  his soft expression had been quickly replaced by a look of disgust as richie went to hand him another token, hoping he'll stay and play longer.

the other boy shoved richies hand and the token clattered to the ground, "why do you want me to stay, you little queer" he spat.

richie froze and tears immediately felt hot tears well up in his eyes.

he couldn't breathe

he ran out of the arcade, not even thinking of where he was going as he sobbed. his arms wrapped around his own waist, as if he was trying to comfort himself, because no one else ever would.

he tried to himself he didn't know why being called a queer hurt so much.

but he knew.

richie found himself standing alone on the kissing bridge.

ironic, he thought bitterly and sat down his head in hands.

all he wanted in that moment was eddie, for eddie to tell him it was okay, to hold him. he wanted eddie.

and not in the way you want a friend

he wanted to fall asleep in eddies arms. he wanted to be eddies first kiss, he wanted to tell eddie he loved him. 

he loved eddie in a way he wasn't allowed to

not thinking clearly he picked up a discarded blade off the ground and turned towards the bridge, where many other couples initials had been carved in.

he carefully traced in an R, his heart in his throat.

henry's cousin was right, i am a queer, richie thought, the tears still spilling down his cheeks

and it's eddie kaspbrak fault.

if he wasn't so perfect maybe i wouldn't have fallen for him.

as richie was carving in the + he was interrupted by someone standing behind him.

"richie?" a voice said softly, the person placed a hand on his shoulder gently.

richie turned around slowly

it was stan.

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