Logan and I. We used to be friends.
I know right? How did this bitchy, over-achieving, hot-headed, weirdo, became friends with the arrogant, self-centered, attention-seeking, popular, loved by everyone, talented, hot, amazing, worth to die for, not even that great of an actor.
But trust me, we were once, friends. Well, more than friends, actually. We were best friends, since kindergarten.
Logan wasn't all that hot when we were in middle school. His hotness happened when we were freshmen. He went to California for the whole summer because of some audition in a movie film, then when he got back, he was freaking hotter than granny's freshly baked chocolate fudged brownies. Not really eight-pack-abs-tanned-skin-and-blonde-hair-guy kind of hot, he was more likely to be no-abs-but-has-an-extremely-adorable-cheeky-smirk-and-turquoise-blue-eyes-with-chocolate-brown-haired-guy kind of hot.
Well, maybe for a lot of people that is not really what you supposed to call hot, but that is how I describe totally incredible hotness. Yes, I did have an ultra-mega-tiny-little-smallest crush on him that time (but I had always have this small crush on him ever since 3rd grade after he saved me from bully Ben that was trying to smear glue on my hair, he sacrificed his beautiful hair for me). I mean most of the freshmen girls were head over heels for him. I was just this lucky girl who was really close to him.
But something just came up between us and everything fell apart. We fell apart.
And that 'something' is popularity. He became famous after the movie was released. He was supposed to bring me to the premiere night to see the movie with him, but he brought Sherryl Williams, a fucking senior and captain of the volleyball team. He even lied to me, saying, he wasn't going to see his movie coz he has other plans.
I didn't know if I was jealous or mad coz he lied to me, but I waved it off. But I knew what I was feeling is extremely wrong. I tried everything to stop this whole mixed up bullshit, but every time I tried to avoid it, the feeling just gets stronger and more fucking deeper.
Logan Wade Lerman transformed in to a fucking asshole. His awkwardly adorable personality, weird but cute hand gestures, goofy smile, shy blushing cheeks and his innocent and amazingly beautiful turquoise eyes, died. And I have seen how his popularity killed him.
I was at the crime scene.
I was the star witness.
But no one believed me because popularity has suffocated everything that I loved about Logan. My Logan. My wallflower. My ardent film geek. My one and only.
"What happened to you?" I have once asked him that.
"Nothing, okay? This has always been me." This has always been his response to me every time I asked him.
"No. It is not. You weren't like this. You're not supposed to be like this-"
"Cut the crap, Kelly! Just leave me the fcking alone, will you? I am not the Logan you have always thought of, alright? YES! I did fcking change. But I know that this change is for the better." He shouted.
"No, your change is not for the better, Logan. It's for the worse, and believe me when I tell you this, you'll screw this up." You'll screw our friendship up. I said sternly.
He shook his head, "No, I won't."
He then left me. In the middle of the night after I fetch him on a wild party that one of our varsity football players planned. The cold air was caressing my cheeks as I stood there by the park sobbing and breathing hardly. I didn't know what else to do but to watch him leave until the fog wash away his prescence.
Even though he didn't directly said it to my face, I already know what this means. He never left me after we have a fight that I sometimes start. But the moment he started walking away, I knew it was over. I knew it was all fcking over. After eight shitty years, we have finally fallen apart.
Yeah, he was right. He wouldn't screw us up, coz I have screw us up.
