So of late I have been holding meetings with myself.
Meetings that
At times I would be on time but self would delay
Or self would get on time and I would delay.
So last time we met and we made a conclusion.
We both tried and settled down for the meeting on time.
I listened to self, digesting everything self had in mind.
Self complained at some point.
She told me that she did not like how I used her energy,
That she would love if I directed her energy on another direction.
She also made an astonishing complement. She said she loved how I had taught her to be free,
The first day she met freedom,
She fell in love with freedom and she married freedom.
Like no other days.
"Now, what about we listen to your side," said self.
This was an overwhelming moment. It was like we were having a daughter father moment.
I imagined the life without self.
How traumatising it was.
How I felt on my knees uncountable times.
I was trying to find myself but she was never there.
I soaked my pillow every night.
And every time I entered my bathroom,
A voice asked me if I really needed water.
My tears could clean "I".
I was never sure but I answered
"Water will do"
So that anytime I walked out
They would never see it.
A moment of confusion.
Look at self, look at me!
We were finally here.
It was now or never!
A moment or reunion with self.
The liberation self had
She held my hand.
I showed her the door to freedom.
But I never went inside.
She came back for me.
Ask me,
What(How) it feels to be free.
©unapologetically RECLUSE bLaCk woman(winie).
