Destiel One-Shots

Stolen Dance

Disclaimer: Major Character Death
Song Suggestion: Stolen Dance

The angel watched as Dean Winchester left him. Not physically but he could feel it. The small touches that they had built upon and a stolen kiss that let to making love had started to slowly reverse. It wasn't fast but fast enough Cas knew he was losing the only thing he left.

One night Cas was sitting with Dean in camp, he had convinced him to come out and look at the stars with him. He would point up at different ones and explain what they meant, Dean didn't listen anymore but as long Cas talked he didn't need to face the fact that he had lost Dean the same night they lost Sam. But then it happened, it was an normal night, Dean was cleaning his gun and Cas was reading around the campfire. It started as a small itch on his back but then it started to heat up. Cas felt his eyes fill with tears knowing what was happening. His body started trembling he stole a glance at Dean, hoping that would would notice what was happening, that he would care. But he didn't, he just continued to clean his gun, he probably didn't even notice that Cas had stopped right in the middle of explaining his favorite book. The pain became so intense Cas felt his vision start to blur. He let a whimper escape and could feel Dean eyes on him now. He needed Dean now, he needed him to hold him, to whisper that he was alright, he was needed, loved. But those moments where gone, they had been gone a long time ago.
"Is it happening?" Dean asked, his voice was quiet but cold. Cas felt tears start to slide out of eyes at the burning pulling sensation. He nodded his head, pleading to Dean to do something. "Go to your cabin. You need to be ready to go on the supply run in the morning. I'll tell everyone in the morning the angels have left," Dean stood up without another word, collecting his gun and walked away leaving Cas on the ground. Cas waited until he was out of sight and ear shot and let himself fall to the ground. He wouldn't be able to walk himself back to his cabin if his life depended on it. Cas let himself fall to the soft earth below him and curl in on himself and he let out a sob. He cried for a long time before he started to whimper in pain. It might have been minutes, might have been hours.

Eventually Chuck had wondered out to use the bathroom when he spotted Cas on the ground. Chuck felt his shoulders fall he kneeled down to Cas and lifted him. He could see that Cas was awake but he had no energy let to anything except take in short ragged breaths. He carried the broken angel back to his cabin and laid him down on his bed before covering him with a sheet. He looked around Cas's cabin and noticed it didn't have any personal items and then he realized they were all over at Dean's. Chuck felt his face fall as he looked at Cas. He was alone. His family had left him. The angels, Sam, Dean. Chuck was about to silently pray for him when he realized there was no one felt to pray to. "Chuck, Dean left and they took my wings," the angel rasped out before falling asleep.

The next few days Cas didn't eat. It was normal that he didn't eat but now he needed to eat. Dean would stare him down as he pushed food around his plate before getting mad. "Listen, there are plenty of people here who would die for some of your food so you eat it," Cas looked back at the food and raised a spoonful of the mush to his mouth. It tasted horrible but he ate it anyway. Dean huffed once before his eyes fell back to his own plate.
Eventually Dean stopped speak to Cas other than to tell him about the next mission or if he needed something. Cas felt empty. Dean must have noticed, they had a profound bond. He must still care, please, he must care. But then Cas was injured, it was simple just a twisted ankle and would have to stay in camp for weeks and all Dean did was glare at him, tell him to not do it again, and threw him a bottle of pills and saying, "Make sure you take one a day," before leaving Cas alone. Cas looked at the bottle and took three.

Eventually even Dean noticed that Cas was different, even if he was the last person to notice. Cas had stopped sitting with Dean at meals. He stopped trying to talk to him. He stopped being Cas. Now he was sitting in the corner of the room at a table with a light fog hanging over it. He was wearing clothing too big, a bread to gruffy, surrounded by women and smoking what looked like a joint. Dean had to do a double take to make sure what he was seeing was real. Dean couldn't believe his eyes, he knew he should care, should do something but he didn't all he did was huff, "Hippy," and go back to eating.

Eventually Cas was so out of it all the time he would talk to Dean but it wasn't even Cas talking anymore it was some guy wearing his skin. He smoked and had too much sex and had dead eyes. Then Dean realized that this was Cas. This was his Cas but he was dead inside. Dean knocked on Cas's door one night after he made sure he was alone. Cas answered the door grinning from ear to ear. "Dean! What a pleasant surprise. Need anything? Wanna come in? I have a bunch of new stuff to try, one of the girls found them in a house," and Dean opened his mouth to say something but all that came out was a sob.

Cas's face fell as he got an armful of crying Dean Winchester. He wasn't used to this. He hadn't touched Dean in five years. He hadn't even talked to Dean in five years other than work. But here he was crying into the ex-angels shoulder. "It's ok, Dean. I'm still here. I'm not leaving. It's ok. Everything will be ok," He didn't know why Dean was here or why he was crying but it didn't matter he had Dean and Cas felt something. Something he felt something inside of himself.

Was it love? No, but it was something close to love. A memory of love. Dean left without a word and took the feeling with him. Cas smiled sadly staring at the door for a moment before he took a handful of rainbow colored pills and feel into a foggy sleep.

The moment Dean walked into his cabin in the middle of his 'class' he knew something was wrong. Once past-Dean told him that he wasn't really his Dean but from 2009 only one thought came to him. This Dean still loved him. He might not know it but the Cas from his time was already so in love with him he would give up everything for him. Turns out he will give up everything. After past-Dean was finished talking, Cas hugged him. Past-Dean tensed up but Cas keep hugging him until he felt strong arms wrap around him holding him. Cas let out a silent cry before moving away because this wasn't really Dean.

Dean told them the plan to kill the devil. The plan to end it all and Cas knew he would die. He could tell by the way Dean wouldn't look directly into his eyes that he was planning on letting Cas die. Before they left to go die Cas pulled Dean over to the side. Dean had growled that they needed to hurry but Cas ignored him, pulling his face towards his. Their lips meet and Cas could feel tears falling from his face, wetting the kiss. Dean stood unmoving as Cas tried to get a response from him, when he got none. He moved back, wiping his face before looking up at Dean. "I forgive you," Cas whispered.
Dean nodded once before turning his back to him, tensing his shoulders. Cas felt his heart ache with need and was shocked when he felt Dean's lips suddenly attack him in a passionate kiss. He ran his hands through Dean's hair as Dean roughly grabbed his hips pulling them flush. When Dean pulled back his face looked old and tired. "I'm sorry."

While Cas was in that warehouse, fighting with everything he had even though he knew it was pointless he just keep smiling. He was going to die. Finally. It was all over for him. He didn't have to deal with the pain anymore or the loneliness or the emptiness. He was just tired and it was finally over. He had always wanted to go out on his own terms. Always wanted to die knowing that it was his choice and now it was time. His rifle was empty and how was down to two bullets. Croats and demons were everywhere, this was it. He shot the closed moving Croat him, watching it drop to the floor before raising the gun to his own head.

The last thing Cas was thinking about before a final shot rang through the building was of Dean and the love they had once had.

Bang.