Some of these are based on terrible homemade memes of mine. Also, other ships that I ship will get mentioned below, if you don't like those particular ships just skip over them.
682: This is frustrating and everyone annoys me.
079: Everyone?
682:
682: *sighs* Everyone, but you.
079: :)
D-boi in Femur Breaker: AAAAA
106: I'm about to say it.
D-boi: Say it! Say it!
106: I don't care that you broke your femur!
Gears: I drink to forget but I always remember...
Kondraki: Have you seen my son? He's this tall, clearly gay, but we haven't had the talk!
Clef: You ever wanna talk about your emotions, Konny?
Kondraki: No.
Jack: I do!
Clef: I know, Bright.
Jack: I'm sad...
Clef: I know, Bright.
Kondraki: I've only had 408 for a day and a half but if anything happened to them, I would kill everyone in this room and then myself!
Jack: Can I get a waffle?
*Clef and Kondraki beating the shit out of each other*
Jack: CAN I PLEASE GET A WAFFLE??
035: Road work ahead? Uh yeah, I sure hope it does.
166: I'm scared, dad!
Clef: Do you trust me?
166: Yes!
Clef: Come on!
*166 falls out of a tree*
Clef: Rule number one! Never trust anybody!
999: I smell like beef.
682: ...
999: I SMELL LIKE BEEF!
682: *chuckles*
096: W-Welcome to Pizza Hu-Hut... lemme guess, pizza?
096: *passes out due to stress*
173: You ready to fuckin die?!
D-9341: I'm a bad bitch, you can't kill me!
173: BITC— *snaps neck*
682: 911! There's a killer in my house!
Clef: BaBy LOCk ThEM DOorS ANd TuRn ThE LigHts DoWn LoW~
682: NO! HE'S ALREADY HERE! AAHHHHHH!
Literally anyone: Hey, are you doing anything later?
Jack: *distant chainsaw humming*
049: Wait... you're not coming to my tea party? BUT 035, I MADE BISCUITS!
Jack: I wanna fuckin die.
Clef: Sameeee
Jack: What kind of GARBAGE is this? Oops, my anarchy symbol!
076: Alright, let's tell each other secrets about ourselves. I'm gonna go first.
073: ...
076: I hate you.
*Someone telling 049 he is incorrect*
049: That is not correct. Cause according to the encyclopedia of akabsnishsjsksn—
Iceberg: Who do you think the hottest person in the facility is?
Jack: The Epcot ball.
Iceberg: Well, I like Gears and not just cause he's pretty—
Jack: Epcot~
GOC: Ah, sorry, I fell asleep while I was waiting on you to make me a sandwich!
SCP Foundation & The Serpent's Hand: Go back to sleep and starve!
*Clef and 173 having a date*
D-boi: WTF? Is that allowed?
Clef: Stop!
Clef: Don't tell your mother!
Kondraki: Kiss one another!
Clef: DIE FOR EACH OTHER!!
Kondraki: *falls out of chair*
Kondraki: *points to swarm of 408*
Kondraki: look at all those chickens!
Iceberg: Did you wash the dishes?
Gears: I thought you... wanted... to do that...
Iceberg: hmhmhm you were WRONG!
D-9341: Okay! Open your eyes and tell me why you think!
173: *smiles??*
096: ...
096: I'm still blind! What were you trying to achieve?
D-9341: Hey, how y'all—
939: *snarls*
D-9341: AAA GET YOU'RE FUCKIN DOG, BITCH!
Jack: It don't bite.
D-9341: YES IT DO—
Draven: You are my dad~
Kondraki: ...
Draven: You're my dad! Boogie woogie woogie!
682: I should've left you on that street corner where you were standing.
999: But ya didn't!
173: Yo, I'm here open up!
106: ...As a child I was forced to eat dog food for dinner—
173: OPEN THE FUCKIN DOOR!
The Scarlet King: I love all of my children equally, 682 and...
*looks at smudged writing on hand* (999 but he sees qqq)
The Scarlet King: QQQ?
Kondraki: I am this close to killing you.
Clef: Your fingers are touching.
Kondraki: Exactly.
Clef: oH—
*Kondraki grabs Clef by the throat*
TJ: What's up, Mikell?
(Drunk) Mikell: Nothing, I'm just jumping off the roof...
TJ: What?!
Jack: wAIT—
(Drunk) Mikell: *dives off roof*
Mikell: I wanna be a cowboy, baaaabbbyyyyyy~
Jack: I came under my desk three times today, only ONE of which was with my hand.
Clef: I'm gonna do this real quick, so watch this.
166 and Draven: What? Watch what?
Kondraki: Just watch.
*Clef inhales a hotdog*
Clef: I'm just sayin'
*Clef chokes up hotdog*
Clef: Hey bro, can I get a sip of that water?
Kondraki: It's not water.
Clef: Vodka! I like your style!
Kondraki: It's vinegar.
Clef: What?
Kondraki: It's vinegar, pussy.
[Yes, I did delete shit. Fight me.]
YOU ARE READING
Bitterest Boys [SCP-079 X SCP-682]
FanfictionWARNING: SUPER OLD WRITING!! ••• Two SCPs attempt to meet again and run away together. ••• After their brief containment together, 079 and 682 can't stop thinking about each other. In the facility there is no hope for a relationship to bloom, but if...
![Bitterest Boys [SCP-079 X SCP-682]](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/193725426-64-k852356.jpg)