cho seungyoun - stranger lover

c.s.y - guilt

Their jaws dropped.

"Y-you what?" the woman stuttered, her purse slipped from her shoulder.

The girl kept her stoic face on, no one knew whether she was telling the truth or not.

"Y/N" Mr. Cho interrupted.

"What do you mean, Y/N?" the young one said nothing more, her head was hanging low.

Mrs. Han raised her voice once again, repeating the same question.

I don't wanna say it.

I don't wanna say it.

It's all my fault she gritted her teeth.

"Y/N-","I was the cause of their death" she finally spoke, with no courage left to lift her head.

Her voice cracked, unable to hide the grief as tears started to form in her eyes.

Finally saying it out loud is something else.

Just say it she told herself.

But it doesn't come out that easily.

"Go on, dear" Mrs. Cho softly demanded.

"I....if... If only I agreed to have them coming over visiting me in England. This wouldn't- this wouldn't have happened"

"What do you-","They wouldn't be affected if they flew over. They've got everything sorted out but I told them that-"

"They didn't have to"

Oh my god Seungyoun ran his fingers through his hair, devastated.

"I stupidly told them that.... They didn't have to" she cried out, tears rolling down her cheek.

"Mom was so sick. She could barely walk and I thought it was better if I let her stay in the hospital for a little longer. I was selfish on my part. I was so stupid. I confronted them so much that the last thing I did to them was.... Hurting their feelings" a gut-wrenching sob escaped her lips.

"Honey-","The earthquake was inevitable, Y/N" Mr. Cho cut in.

"It wasn't your fault" her wife added.

"It was... it was... " she shook her head.

"Their flight was supposed to be 2 days before that... and I let them die. And I thought I knew I did the right thing but- I killed them... I killed..." she stared at her shaky hands with a great terror reflected in her eyes.

"Y/N I'm so-","The past 3 years" she interrupted her aunt, finally rising her head.

"How was I supposed to live with this guilt?" she repeatedly beat her chest.

Her bottom lip quievered,"I'm living well while they suffer? I'm living well while they die? My heart is beating but because of me, theirs had stopped?"

Because of my selfishness and stupidity. she squeezed her eyes, tears raced down her face.

"I should've at least die with them" she mumbled incoherent things.

"Do I even.."

"Do I even deserve to live?" she asked, eyes bleeding with pain.

Her eyes landed to everyone in the room.

Nobody dared to have their eyes on her but Seungyoun did, with a pained look on his face.

"Do I even deserve the right to?!" she yelled to the middle-aged woman who was at a loss of words.

Mrs. Han fell on her knees, her mere strength failed to support her body.

"I'm so sorry, Y/N. I'm so sorry" tears of pain
streamed down her face.

"All this time I thought you- didn't love them anymore"

"Didn't love them?"

Her shoulders dropped in resignation,"How can I... I couldn't possibly—I'm still not ready. I tried-"

"I think that's enough for today" everyone turned to Seungyoun.

"Give her a break, she's been through enough" he firmly emphasized,"Have some rest" he whispered to her.

"But-" Seungyoun shook his head.

Y/N complied in hesitation before climbing up the stairs.

"You should've known better" Seungyoun failed to hide his displeasure.

"Seungyoun-"

"No he's right" Mr. Han interrupted his friend,"We haven't been spending time with her, probably at all. She's been all by herself and we thought she dealt with it well"

"She is only 20. Her wounds will take longer to heal. Give her some time" he attentively responded.

"It's also late, come back later when the time is right" he took a glance on the clock.

"I'm coming in" Seungyoun turned the door handle, finding Y/N on her bed, tucked in.

"Can't sleep?" she shook her head.

"Did you wash your face?" she nodded.

Her throat felt so sore after all the crying she had let out.

"Show me your palm" she took her hands out of the covers as he prepared the ointment for the treatment.

"Does it hurt?" she shook her head again.

"Good" he sighed in relief.

"Seungyoun, you are a nice person" a raspy voice muttered.

Seungyoun looked up, his heart unsettled as he watched her painful smile.

Out of all people he thought to himself.

"Are you high" he focused back on treating the wounds.

"I'm not. You would've left me alone if you weren't" she insisted, making him chuckle.

"Be honest" she stopped his hand,"Am I crazy?"

Seungyoun placed his hand down, sighing.

Then proceed to tilt his head to the side with an indecisive hum.

"Yeah, you are" he shortly answered, sniggering at his own response.

"Should've known" Y/N looked to the other way, acting dissapointed.

"My type of crazy" he continued under his breath, packing the ointment like he just said nothing.

Y/N's eyes widened in surprise.

Maybe a pleasant surprise.

"Now, off you go to sleep" he turned off the light, dissapearing like a flash.

What was that?

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I wanted to make this emotional but I dont have talent for that so idk if its up to your standard aaaaa my head hurts i should go to sleep uwu thank you for reading :')

- author.