An open door

  Death. It invites you in like open doors. Just  waiting for you to walk in.  It's hard walking though the doors and just leaving everything behind.  

Hi, Im Jordyn Jackson. Jay for short. Im 18 years old.  I died the night of my parents anniversary. It really shouldn't of happened. Ill tell you my story, of the life I was living. Ill try my best to explain it, so here it goes.

  I had just gotten into cross country. I was good at running. Almost everyone there were friends, we all got along. I loved going and being able to see friends and have fun while working hard at excercise.  My death was a traggic accendent.  I still went to the races to see how every one did. And well, they did great. But only 2 weeks after state, my school of Foster Grant High, had put together a prom for the seniors. I had a boyfriend then so i was going to go with him. Tanner and I had it all planned out. It was like a date. Not our first but just another date. I was going to wear a white dress with a black ribbion going around my waist and tied in the front. It was a bit higher than knee length but still aceptable for school. I couldn't wait. The prom was on friday.

Not trying to burst my personal life bobble or anything but my parents have been fighting a lot recently.  I knew there honey moon was the night before the prom. My dad took me and my mother out for dinner on wednesday. Ill tell you how i died.

So we were just about to leave when my dad did something really stupid. He kinda started flirting with the waitress and mom was right there. Mom got mad and asked about it when she left. Dad said she was making a big deal out of nothing. ( No offience dad but I'm on mom's side. You just don't do that when your in front of your family. I mean how stupid are you? common sense. )  Anyway, we started to leave and then they completly got into it. I just sat in the back quietly. Not hurting a soul but instead it was my soul that had to be hurt. Everybody knows my dad drives fast when he's mad and he wasn't just mad, he was angry. So they light for traffic had turned yellow and he sped up. he was yelling and looking at mom. the light had turned red but he still kept going. there was a truck comming at full speed. the metal from each veichile had met. Sadly the truck had hit my side of the car. we had flipped almost 4 times and slid across the pavement like 100 feet or more. I had died from that accident. If only my dad had not made that stupid move on the waitress. it could of saved my life.

I guess you can say i'm between the stages of going to heaven but not just yet. As if i can't move on cause i can't let go of something. Oh ya, i know. MY LIFE!  It was perfect. Nothing went wrong in my life except for how i died. It's like im in this place but all i can see is gray. I can hear the sound of a little lulaybe my mother used to play for me when i was just a little baby. I can see it happening as if i were there but just standing behind it all. I can step up close to my crib, and see me lying there. hopelessly. My mother seemed so proud that i came into her world. She use to sing to me, to calm me down when i was upset.  I miss her, a lot. My mother was, special. She gave me everthing. She said she always wanted to make me happy. She wanted me to be myself and she didn't want me to be like the others. Stuck up an snotty. Which i'm not cause how i grew up. I learned how to respect the things you have and to appreciate them at a young age. I have my own opinion but not everybody agree's with it. Probably only my mother would mostly agree with me on almost everthing. My dad, just somethings. He always said to me when i was little and he would tuck me into bed. he would say " I want you to have the best childhood you can have. I want you to remember the goods and not the bads, and the only way to do that is only have goods." and thats how it's always been. I can tell they believed in me. And i trusted them with everything. If thats why i can't just move on, i completely understand. And it's something i can never move on from. I have so many people i love, i cant just leave.

Maybe somehow, i could send them a message telling them i'm here, or still here with them. And telling them i'm not leaving. There must be a way. I would do anything to atleast see them again and tell them i loved them.  I want to tell my mother i have always loved her singing, i would tell my father that i always loved the scratchy feeling on his face when he hasn't shaved. I would telling them everything i would have to tell them if i could. just one more moment, its all i ask for.