I Hate You, Don't Leave Me

Chapter 12

Lisa tapped her pencil against her desk as the teacher droned on and on about something or other in the front of the classroom. She looked at the clock, but she felt as if the clock had broken, or maybe she was just in some alternate universe where time had stopped moving entirely, leaving her in this boring class forever. This class had already been going on for long enough, and even though there were only ten minutes left, Lisa was already pretty restless. She felt as if tiny ants were crawling under her skin, and she just needed to get up and do something, anything really, to shake them out.

Lisa couldn't wait until the bell rang because that meant that it was time for lunch with Chaeyoung, her girlfriend. Lsia didn't think that she would ever get tired of that. Although she had been furious at first, she was now really glad that Chaeyoung had come up to talk to her in the attic. If the blonde hadn't knocked some sense into her, Lisa would still be making herself absolutely miserable by avoiding Chaeyoung. She had hated every minute spent away from the girl who had so quickly become a part of her, but her fear of moving on from Joy, the only girl that she had ever loved, had been greater. Lisa knew that Chaeyoung had probably been disappointed in her for all of her time spent pushing the blonde away, and she knew that she needed to make an effort to talk things out with her roommate the next time that something upset her. She knew that it would be hard, considering her history of pushing everyone away whenever she was hurting, but she knew that she needed to make an effort for Chaeyoung.

After a few more minutes of pretending to pay attention and jotting down a few notes that were actually just absentminded doodles, the bell rang, and Lisa sprang out of her seat, walking out into the crowded hallway. She growled in frustration as she tried to push through a swarm of people, hating the suffocated feeling that this hallway always provided her with.

Once she finally had her lunch in hand, Lisa made her way out of the school, and she walked across the grass to her and Chaeyoung's normal spot under the bleachers. While Lisa had been going to dinner every night with the house as of late, she and the blonde still ate under the bleachers, deciding not to break what had become a tradition. Besides, Lisa couldn't say that she minded having a nice break from the school day with the blonde all to herself.

When Lisa got under the bleachers, she found Chaeyoung already there waiting for her. She sat down beside the blonde, and she was a little bit surprised when the other girl immediately scooted closer to place a quick kiss on her lips. When Chaeyoung pulled back, Lisa could tell that her roommate was gauging her reaction, and so Lisa allowed herself to smile, knowing that she was probably blushing and noting that she didn't particularly mind. She also found that she didn't mind how Chaeyoung was sitting so close to her that their knees were touching. Lisa was amazed that she was sitting here with someone who wasn't Joy and feeling these things that she never thought she would feel again. While she had been wary of this before, she was now beginning to understand that it wasn't necessarily a bad thing to have feelings for someone else.

"How was your algebra 2 class?" Chaeyoung asked.

"Boring as ever," Lisa responded, shuddering at just the thought of the class. Then again, she realized that she hadn't really heard a word that the teacher had said. "Well, actually I didn't pay attention, so we could have had the most riveting lecture today, and I would be none the wiser."

"Maybe you should start paying attention then." Chaeyoung nudged her shoulder playfully.

Lisa scoffed at even the suggestion of the thing, knowing that she would never be able to pay attention in a math class, but she thought that maybe the blonde actually wanted her to try. She decided to give a neutral answer, so as not to disappoint her girlfriend. "Maybe. How was lit?"