I Hate You, Don't Leave Me

Chapter 23

Chaeyoung watched as Lisa's smile dropped away. Seeing Lisa smiling and laughing with Jackson and Bam Bam put Chaeyoung in bad mood, but she couldn't help but perk up a little when she thought she detected a hint of pain in her eyes. For a moment, she allowed herself to hope that Lisa might finally approach her, but obviously that was nothing more than a fantasy. A split second later, the brunette was following after the boys again, and Chaeyoung huffed in anger, wishing that her roommate wouldn't be so stubborn.

Chaeyoung had never seen Lisa hang out with Jackson and Bam Bam much, although she had been informed that they had been closer freshman year, and it seemed to the blonde that Lisa was spending time with anyone that she possibly could in order to avoid her. At first, she had thought that Lisa was just upset over what had happened with her stepfather, but this was something else. It almost seemed to Chaeyoung as if she had done something to upset Lisa, but if she had, she couldn't think of what it possibly could have been. If Lisa wanted to break up with her so badly, then Chaeyoung wished that her roommate would get the guts to say so. She was honestly getting sick and tired of being treated this way.

"Chaeng, are you okay?" The blonde was startled out of her thoughts by a voice from somewhere to her left, and she turned her head to see Jisoo walking towards her with a concerned look. Reaching up to wipe at her eyes, Chaeyoung found that she had begun to cry without even realizing it. She supposed that she could wipe her eyes and try to pretend that she had never been crying at all, but she honestly didn't even care anymore. Shaking her head in her friend's direction, she let her sobs loose right there in the middle of the hallway. Jisoo was quick to pull her crying friend into her arms, rubbing her back comfortingly. "What happened?"

"Lisa," Chaeyoung choked out, knowing that was all that needed to be said.

"I take it things haven't gotten any better with you two, then," Jisoo stated.

"Of course not. She hasn't talked to me in a month, and I don't think things will ever get better between us again. Not if she keeps fucking refusing to talk to me about what it is I've done to offend her. She's acting like a child, and I hate her." Chaeyoung began to sob harder, repeating her words with more conviction. "I hate her, Jisoo. I hate her."

"I know," Jisoo said soothingly. "I know that you think you hate her, but you don't."

"I do," Chaeyoung argued immediately. "I do hate her! And I never want to see her again."

"I know for a fact that that's not true," Jisoo said softly. "You're just angry at her right now. I mean, you have a right to be, but I know that you could never hate her."

Chaeyoung wanted to argue, but she knew that her friend was right. As much as she thought that she hated Lisa, she knew that no matter what the brunette did, she would never, ever hate her. Worse than that, she loved the awful girl, loved her with all of her heart, and she wished more than anything that there was some way that she could get herself to stop.

"You're right," Chaeyoung admitted, tears slowing as her anger seemed to leave her as quickly as it had come. "I don't hate her, but that doesn't mean that I'm not furious with her. I want to smack her right across her stupid face, but I can't because I still love her, and I wish that I could stop."

"You will," Jisoo said. "If the two of you aren't meant to be together, then you will stop loving her in time, and if you are, you'll find your way back to each other."

"Do you think we're meant to be?" Chaeyoung knew that it was a pointless question, but she asked it anyway.

Jisoo paused for a moment, seeming to contemplate the question before she gave her answer in one word. "Yes."