"Leaving" that's the only word he heard from a 2-hour conversation with his parents. He couldn't bare the thought of leaving her. Her, with all the effort he puts to get his mind off her, her smile, her hair, her laugh, he couldn't stop thinking about the future they could've had If "leaving" was turned into "staying". Every day he looked at her, he couldn't help but see her fading further away from him.
She, on the other hand, doesn't care about him. She looks at him, his heartbreaking inside his chest, the only thing she feels is disgust. Boys with feelings are weird that's the only thing she can think to say. She cringes every time he shows her his feelings. If he went there are many others.
He knows that they are nothing more than friends. He knows they can't be more than that. "I love you," that's all he can say. "Me too," she mumbles without any feelings. His heart that was already in a million pieces broke once more. He would rather her say "I hate you." than hear her lie to him. He would rather for her to kill him than hear her lie to him. He was in a state of denial no one ever thought could be possible. He keeps posting things that say to her, her only, that he loves her. She knows it's for her. She says nothing. So, he tags her, to make sure she does. And she only sends him a heart a dry effortless heart. She sends that not caring about his real heart.
Once he left, once he knew nothing can be better, once he knew that even a text can be ignored, once he knew that his whole being can be simply ignored it was not only his heart that broke. His whole body was crushed by a weight coming from the sky. He was simply existing. He forgot what living really is. She missed him, or so she said. Because after only 3 days she moved on. He believed a broken heart can be fixed, but he also believed that it will be scared forever.
---
In your presence, I am so vulnerable
In your presence, I am so small
A dot,
a star in your galaxy
In your presence, I feel like a drop of water that lost its way from the river
your river
in your presence, I feel like Neptune orbiting around the sun
orbiting around you
you are my air
I choke without you
Without your love
We both know you are my need
Yet you choose to leave me
You choose to leave me choking without your love.
---
You know that feeling when you just want to grab someone you love Someone you care about and just shake them and tell them how much you appreciate and need them?
Do you know that feeling when you want to grab someone from the midst of their chaos and protect them in yours?
Do you know that feeling when you want to help someone you love with all that you have but you don't have much?
You know that feeling when you're afraid that the person you love will beat their last heartbeat?
You know that feeling when you see the person you love slipping away from you, but you can't hold them because of your sweaty oily hands?
You know that feeling when all time, until the end of time doesn't seem enough time to spend with the one you love?
Well I know
I know these feelings well and I want someone to tell me that's it's okay that the person I love will stay because they love me back.
