I am fine
I write that with eyes full of tears.
I am fine
I am fine
I am fine
No, I am not
Who am I lying to?
Myself.
I feel lonely.
I am lonely.
Like nobody wants to talk to me,
Look at me,
Be near me, and it is killing me.
They say I shouldn't look for happiness in others,
They say happiness comes from within,
And I know that is true,
No, I want it to be true.
But that feeling it's eating me alive.
I don't know what to do.
Because if I try to be with people, I feel like they don't want me.
And when I sit alone, I get lost in this feeling of hopelessness, emptiness, pointlessness.
They don't want me,
And I don't want myself.
I want to cry all my life.
You know, sometimes I have moments where I feel fine, like nothing matters.
Moments like when I finish the exam early and I have nothing to do.
Or when I just sit and stare at the ceiling.
Moments like these make me wish I could stop time.
Make me wish that I had one superpower, to stop time.
Because in moments like these, I feel nothing.
I don't feel lonely,
I don't feel hopeless,
I don't feel fake,
Left out,
Hated,
I can go on for another thousand feelings, but does it matter?
No.
I can't stop time.
The moment that bell rings, I am alone once more.
What can I do about it?
Nothing.
So, I stay lonely and wait for the moment loneliness eats the last bite of my body.
Disappointment
Every time I hear your laugh
disappointment
I see your smile
Disappointment
I see you living
Breathing
Disappointment
I look at you, you only the whole world around you shatters
When I look at you I.......
Your eyes shine brighter than a thousand stars
Your smile, oh your smile
It says more than a thousand words.
Disappointment
I have thought of you enough times to outnumber the stars
Who can resist beauty like yours?
Disappointment
I don't know why
Every time I look at, I feel disappointed
Maybe because you aren't mine
Or maybe because you're
so beautiful
So amazing
I can't help but feel disappointed that you are just a figure inside my
Head.
Hey, how are you?
Hey, we are going out do you want to come?
Do I look like I care?
Do I look like I am feeling anything at all?
Do I look like your happiness, my happiness, means anything to me?
My heartaches and that's all I can feel.
You ask me why?
Is it because of a mark?
Did we do anything to hurt you?
As if you care.
Everyone did something to hurt me.
Everyone hurts me.
When you ignore me,
When you leave my text on read
Or even when you reply, but your text are as dry as bread crumbs that have been under the sun for days.
My heart has turned into dry crumbs,
But not from the sun,
From the cold breeze of the nights,
The nights I have never left.
The dark nights,
As dark as my mind gets,
When I leave myself, with my thoughts.
When I stare at the ceiling,
Only feeling the aching of the burden inside my chest,
I want that burden to stop beating,
But I am too scared to make it stop.
So, some nights I cry,
other nights I want to cry,
because I want all my feelings to dampen with the salty tears that fill my eyes.
But I can't,
I can't cry,
Because I have used all my tears, and I feel nothing now.
