Little do you know || k.th [ON HOLD]

i

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Okay.

It is equivalent to the word "fine" that is often the answer when they asked if I'm okay even the truth is, no. Because in addition to being tired of you, I was also tired of explaining myself.

I went outside and ready to go to work. I breathed deeply to prepare myself, ready to face what will happen on this day. As I came, people smile at me and greet me. I smiled and greeted them back, too. I went to the restroom and as I look myself at the mirror, a deep sigh escape and I recognize myself that I'm definitely fine. I dress fine, I smile fine, I talk with others fine, I walk fine, I eat fine. Everything was fine. Fine. But little do you know how am I when no one was around? when the dark comes, the sky was filled with its moon brightly waving at me, and its stars twinkling outside of my room's window? yes, I do. I do see them. I do hear noises too. Do you wanna know who it is? it is me. I do hear my own sobs. I do feel my own cry. I do feel my heart slowly breaking. The moon and the stars, I do let them see and hear me. Yes, they do. yes, they are the ones who can only see me, who can see me breaking, who can see me in pain. Yes, I can't sleep at night. Do you hear me too? do you feel me too? do you ever know I'm in this kind of state? Yes, It's been a year, and yes, I can't do it. I can't move on. Everything. Is this what I deserve? loneliness? because I really miss every bit of you. Regrets? because I guess I'm started to regret to know you from the very beginning. Pain? because you said that you will love me every imperfection that I have. What am I suppose to do to stop this?

Why am I still want you?

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