Two Birds

Seventh

Nam Woo Seok's Point of View

Aah, my eyes are getting all watery. I stopped the car in the middle of some bridge just so I could compose myself. My chest hurts, my head does too. What was I fucking thinking?

Soo Jung isn't a fool who'd just follow anything that I say. That was what I liked about her, that she didn't just fall in my lap, that it actually took a lengthy effort to make her mine. But now, now I screwed it all up.

I know that it's my fault. Everything is. And I fucking regret it. And I know, as clear as it can be, than nothing can go back to the way it was. Not after what I did.

I thought that I could grab some air so I got off the car and walked towards the sidewalk. The river breeze was a cold, refreshing sensation. I could feel my headache lessen, but my heart's still sore. I leaned at the railings to feel more of the soothing breeze.

You might wonder what just happened between Soo Jung and I that made our relationship complicated. And you might think that this is borderline crazy and absolutely preposterous but hear me out.

When you have a lot of people in your circle, some of them might have different motives with you. You wouldn't see this hypocrisy in your face because those kind of people are assholes. They know how to get to your mind, they pretend to be your friend and care for you to get what they want.

It was a dare. We were drunk, I was it, I chose to play a dare, and some girl thought it would be fun to make me pretend to break up with Soo Jung. Hell, I couldn't even remember most of it. I can only recall bits and pieces.

I know that even if it was a dare, it doesn't matter. I still did it. I still have to suffer the consequence. It sucks.

I really did love her. Hell, I still do. I always felt like myself when I'm with her; I didn't need to pretend like I'm this perfect, handsome, ingenious human being in front of her, something I felt like I have to do when I'm with others.

People have this expectation from me that I honestly find so suffocating. You have to be this, and be that, do this, do that, look like this, or that. I've kept up with it, though and it has done me good. But sometimes I just feel like I'm not myself anymore, with all this 'trying to meet everyone's expectations'.

I miss her.

I miss the way she fiddled with my hair when we talk about our days and catch up with one another. The way she hugged me when I was having it hard. Her smile, her touch, her voice, her scent, her kisses... Ah, here comes the tears again.

I just miss her so much. So much that I didn't even think it through when I knew that she was working part time at a coffee shop. I stopped what I was doing and immediately went for her. I wanted to see her again.

Another chance is all I need. After that, I'd never let go of her again.

"Thought I saw you here. I wasn't quite sure if it was actually you." Someone said, leaning on the railings beside me. I took a look at his face to recognize him but I'm not sure if his face is familiar.

I've done a lot of talking with people I don't know. I know too much people to remember names and faces, which is why I learned to small talk and to seem like I know people even if I don't. Plus, he seemed comfortable with me so I didn't mind. Maybe he's one of my bodyguards.

"Yeah," I said, discreetly wiping my tears. "What brings you here?" I asked him.

"I'm supposed to pick you up," Oh, so he is one of my bodyguards. "...your father sent me."