Crave | k.th.

7.

I'm nervous.

I can feel my eyes twitching as I watch Shae lay out everything for us to get started. I know this isn't a strength of mine but for her, I will be strong.

I cleared my throat. "Tell me. What is first?"

Her eyes were kind as she smiled. Did she sense how I felt? This bothers me a little. I'm a man, I should be better than this but I don't want to mess up our time.

"Do you cook at all?"

I smiled nervously and quickly brought my fingers to my mouth. I had to force myself not to nibble on my nails.

"I am not the best with cooking." I lowered my head, admitting my weakness.

"It's okay. We're doing this together." She smiled.

My heart stopped beating.

I lowered my fingers from my mouth as I felt my lips parting and opened. I don't know what it was about her words but they were playing over and over in my head causing my thoughts to wander with her...with us. Doing things together and being a unit.

She broke our gaze to one another and walked away but it didn't interrupt my daydream of how much I wanted this feeling of together to be a reality.

Then again, that only comes with the truth.

She reached the fridge but I grabbed her hand before she could open the door. I pulled her against me and held her tightly. I felt her warmth the minute I rested onto her, my cheek against her as I whispered how much I cherished her for this in the language that was still a bit unfamiliar to her...but she is more than familiar to me.

Familiar, comforting...almost like home.

Because I wanted her to be.

I softly kissed her neck and released her quiet being. She exhaled lowly and open the door to the fridge.

She turned to me with a smile but the look in her eyes suggested that something else. Something sad. I always want to know what she's feeling but I'm afraid sometimes to ask.

She probably feels the same about me.

"Can you cut these?" She posed.

I felt as if she was ignoring her feelings but I wasn't going to push her because she's never pushed me and right now, handing me these vegetables is making me nervous again.

"Will you show me?" I swallowed my nerves deeply. I wanted to do this right for her.

"Sure I will."

She took the veggies and washed them before placing them on the cutting board to show me how she wanted them done.

"Just like this." She smiled before giving me reign over them.

I hope I can follow her lead.

I played in memory how she cut them and tried to do the same. They were looking like hers but I wanted to be sure of it.

"Shae, is this right?" I asked hoping it was to her liking.

"It's perfect Taehyung." The angel spoke and her approval made me smile. I could get used to this easily.

We worked together until all the ingredients were in the pot.

"I'll keep a check on it." She spoke.

___________

I began flipping through the channels to find something to catch my interest while we waited. I've been invading her whole weekend so I wanted her to have some time to herself. I also browsed the web and check some emails. This would have been the perfect opportunity to tell her but I choked every time.

My eyes would find hers and I would open my mouth to speak but my voice stayed silent. She would look away quickly, never asking for anything.

Even her respect is undeserving.

If I don't tell her soon, she could slip right into the arms of someone else. My attention from that thought was quickly caught off guard to the low vibration of her phone against the counter. The minute a smile touched her face, my heart slowed.

I felt as if my thoughts had came alive.

Has she already devoted her time to someone else and she just has me here out of kindness? Am I too late?

What should have I expected? I waited so long to tell her truth now it may be too late. The thought of this made me ache.

Being my friend is good but I want more.

I want her.

I got up from the couch and walked behind her. I must have startled her because she jumped the moment she sensed me.

My thoughts were full of fear as I nibbled on my lips and stared at her. My truth hanging on my tongue when I should just let it go and be heard but I couldn't speak.

Thinking that I messed up and not having her for myself was a possibility that I didn't want to admit to. I briefly looked away in shame but I turned back to her.

I need to be a man about this.

Before I could speak, the timer for the rice was sounding. I stepped away from her so she could tend to it but I found myself following her like a little puppy.

I was desperate but afraid. What if it's no longer me?

I stood in the entrance of the kitchen while she tried to pass by I wouldn't let her. I was teasing her hoping this would help me own up to my thoughts and speak them.

The look in her eye suggested worry. I think I may have scared her and that is the last thing I wanted. I moved closer to her and my eyes fell to her lips. The thought of not being able to kiss them ached and I need her always. Not having her is not an option.

"Only me right?" I moved even closer, ready to claim her lips as my prize if she gives me the answer I'm looking for.

Her eyes wandered mine as if she was thinking of my question. This worried me.

"Shae?" I called.

"Only you Taehyung." She answered quickly.

My heart sped up as I was ready to claim my reward.

Her lips were calling to me like a magnet and the pull of them were electrofying. I kissed her soft and slow, taking my time to feel them on mine to remind myself that she wanted me. I want to be the only one she kisses and I know what I need to do for this to happen.

I am...hmm...hardly jealous but Shae was mine and I would have fought for her if I had to.

Tonight. I will tell her tonight.

I love you all!
You're the reason I'm still here.❤️

+++🌹💋clw