"God, I love you," I murmur, gazing at Neil.
The hint of a smile curves up on his lips. "I love you too." He kisses the tip of my nose, then my lips; placing his hand on the side of my face. "I'm so lucky."
Blush spreads upon my cheeks. "So am I." I lean close and kiss him on the top of his head.
Suddenly the phone rings, slicing the air between us and souring the moment. His touch lingers on my face as he sits up and answers the phone.
"Hello?"
I hear faint talking from the other end.
And he blinks.
That's the only sign something is wrong, at first. Just a blink.
"No, you must be mistaken, my father's not..." He chuckles, but it's forced. So forced. "Yes, I understand that's what you think, but it can't be right. Who would have- I mean-"
And at once, it's like a wall goes down behind his eyes, like a light turns off behind them. "Oh," he says in a low voice. "Oh, I see. Goodbye." He hangs up the phone.
"Neil?" I'm at my feet in an instant. I've seen this look before, when he's been at his lowest points, holding a gun in his hands. "Neil!"
He doesn't meet my eyes.
"Neil, what's wrong?"
He opens his mouth. No sound comes out.
I take his hand. "Neil, babe. Are you okay?"
"My father..." he whispers. His voice cracks. "My father is dead."
"Oh, Neil." I take a deep breath and look at his face, at the couch, at the floor, anywhere except for the phone. "Are you... how do you feel?"
The wall doesn't lift. "Todd, I- I think I'm going to need some alone time. Please." He turns, heading down the hallway.
"Yes, of course," I call out after him, but he doesn't turn back around.
And something breaks inside of me, because the man that I love is shattered.
Neil disappears inside the shadows of the hallway, not even bothering to turn on the lights.
A cold feeling settles inside my stomach as a warning light flicks on inside my head. Knife, where's the knife? The knife is locked in the safe in the attic. Where's the rope? The rope is in the trunk of my car. What about pills? We keep the pills in the kitchen cupboard.
Razor blades?
I wait for an answer to come to me, but none does, so I say it out loud. "Razor blades." And just like that, I'm a man on a mission. I jog down the hallway and turn left into the bathroom. It's empty. I check the shower - the razors are still intact.
A sigh of relief escapes me.
But it doesn't fix where my heart is split into a thousand pieces.
YOU ARE READING
A Rose for Neil
Fanfic-dead poets society fanfiction- NEIL PERRY is an accomplished actor. His father is dead, but Neil doesn't know it yet. TODD ANDERSON is an introverted poet and playwright. He's also Neil's loving husband. MR. PERRY was an abusive father with too-hig...
