Sonata (Harry Styles FanFiction)

54. Solla Sollew

"This isn't funny."

"It most definitely is- for me anyway. Listen to me, though, don't think about it too much. It doesn't matter how close the two were. You still didn't cheat on anyone. Yes, I can see you thinking that shit and it's not true. Now, I'm not your biggest fan, but I'm not going to let you hurt him. Don't worry about Max. I will take care of him. I honestly thought you remembered, if I'd have known, I wouldn't have brought it up at all." I heard everything she said, but nothing would really process. The only thing that I could concentrate on was the fact that I'd had sex with Max. I'd fucked Harry's best friend.

Darien Grace

The nauseous feeling refused to subside, multiplying as the world threatened to upend itself around me. I'd fucked Harry's best friend. His best friend. That wasn't the type of shit that people with... with Otherwise did! People with Otherwise bought the other flowers and chocolates and shit and gave killer blow jobs in return. People with Otherwise didn't just go around fucking each other's best friends. Fuck. I was so fucking messed up. Our entire situation was fucking messed up.

Everything finally began to click into place—why Leala had always been such a bitch to me, why Max kept avoiding me, and why Harry was always so goddamn blissfully clueless. He had no idea that I'd gone and broken one of the biggest rules in the fucking book. How had I forgotten that shit? I should have known like immediately. I mean, I knew that it hadn't meant anything. How could it have? I'd had my fair share of one night stands, those weren't new. Harry was the first person in all of my life to make me feel something. Max... Max had just been a fling, hadn't he? Fuck, I couldn't even remember most of that night. That had to be a sign? If it had been anything other than that I would have remembered it; I sure as fuck would have. But that still didn't explain all of the guilt that was physically crushing me. The thought of Harry finding out sent me tailspinning into an infinite void without any means of escape. There was no doubt in my mind that this knowledge would singlehandedly destroy the first bit of true happiness I'd known in well over seven years. That wasn't an option. No, I wouldn't survive.

"Why?" was the only word I could manage, still unable to focus on anything other than the swirling patterns in my scotch as the once chilled crystal tumbler warmed in my hands.

"Fuck if I know. You do all sorts of rubbish that I will never understand," she shrugged, completely unable to comprehend just what I was asking.

"No, why tell me now?" I growled out, guilt slowly morphing into anger as the reality of the situation sank in. I was set to perform at any moment and now I couldn't even think about focusing. My entire thought process was thoroughly fucked up. "If it was your plan to ruin one of the most influential nights of my entire life, then you've succeeded splendidly." I tossed back the rest of my drink and swallowed quickly, relishing in the burn of the alcohol as it slid down my throat—it helped bring me to reality before it sent me crashing back into a tailspin once more. Nausea threatened to overwhelm me.

"You know, I honestly thought that we'd moved past your insane bitch phase, but obviously I was wrong. You've done nothing but sabotage me all night." Tears threatened to spill from my eyes and that only enraged me further. I hated crying, I mean, I really fucking hated it. I wasn't one of those sappy bitches that started bawling at the tiniest thing. I held my shit together, because, reality check: the world fucking sucked. No one was going to baby you or filter shit that could potentially upset you. You just had to deal with it. Harsh, but true. But fuck, here I was on the verge of losing everything I'd ever cared about and I had no idea what the fuck I was supposed to do. I was so goddamn lost.