tyler trembles, shakes, whimpers as josh pulls him closer. both of their ragged breaths the only sound in the room. his tears create a bittersweet pattern on the hardwood floor and josh makes no effort to stop them.
the noticeably smaller boy sits between joshua's legs facing him, their limbs tangled, knees bent at awkward angles. josh swallows thickly, closes his eyes and shakes his head. this day wasn't supposed to come so fast. tears cascade down tyler's rosy cheeks and josh uses both hands to cup his jaw. quivering lips. afraid to speak.
tyler doesn't need to speak, josh could hear his unevenly beating heart as he drops his head, it was enough. carefully, the older looks up again, his little love shakes his head and chokes on a sob.
josh is the first to muffle a sound, a hum, a mumble. "you are my sunshine."
the younger boy breathes in a strangled breath and cries. cries into his loves chest. agony.
"my only sunshine." the shakiness in the hum was unbearable, neither of them could stand it. vulnerability was too obvious, too much, too overwhelming for josh. the pain was too deafening, too melancholic, too sad for tyler.
they sway. side to side. tightly. slowly.
"you make me happy." voice crack. "when skies are grey." josh needs a break, needs to breathe. tyler used to help with that. for the first time, he made it worse. oh so worse. he carries on. he needs to. needs to finish.
"you'll never know dear, how much i love you."
tyler's sobs become unbearable, heart wrenching, dismal. his face isn't visible, hidden in joshua's growing wet shirt, so he uses his shaky hands to lift it. his hands were trembling, barely stable but tyler doesn't move, uttering his first words that morning.
"i love you i love you i love you."
josh shakes his head, lets more tears fall and leans his forehead against his tyler's warm one. his lips quiver, mouth opens and closes, a broken sound emerges before actual words.
"please don't take no no-
he doesn't finish. tyler wasn't there to hear it. a car drives. broken sobs fill the empty, sunlit room.
he didn't fucking finish.
