Kiss Me If You Can

Chapter 32

Delondon's P.O.V

You ever feel like you've lost yourself. Imagine looking in the mirror and not realizing who are. Knowing that you want to get back to the old you but at the same time not caring. That's how I felt. As the days past I felt myself turning into someone who I was not familiar with.

"Baby you good" Micah asked as he walked out the bathroom. He was getting ready for his class. It was 8:40 Monday morning and I was laying in the bed. Not sleep but not exactly awake either.

I simply nodded my yes while still starring at the wall. "You not going to class" he asked.

"I don't have any energy to go sit in anyone's class. I made arrangements with all of my professors to turn all of my work in online" I said back. Luckily all of my professors were nice enough to excuse me from the remainder of classes as long as I checked in online with them. It also helps that my doctor put me on a semi bed rest. My feet swell any time I leave the house for more than four hours. I could feel the bed dipping. Micah crawled over to my side and kissed my cheek. I let him.

"Ok, that's good then. I'm about to head out. After class I have a few stops to make, I'll text you to see what you want to eat ok" he said getting back off the bed. I simply said ok and he walked out the door.

The last few weeks have been depressing for me. I tried my best not to show. I got a DM on twitter from some girl named Mya. She told me about how her and Micah and were messing around and how he forced her to take a plan B. Even had pictures as proof. This just confirmed what I already felt in my soul. I didn't say anything because I was tired. Tired of the arguments, tired of the tears. Then on top of that I saw messages in his phone of him and Aria. The conversation seems harmless, but you never know with those two. However, I still said nothing. In fact I continued act as if I know nothing. Micah's glad that I finally stopped tripping and he's been on his best behavior for the most part. He still leaves the house and be gone all day. When he's here we act as a normal couple. We eat together, go shopping for the baby, and even have sex. We even dressed up and was hand in hand at our gender reveal. But I feel nothing. No emotions. I just sit and stare. He tries to have conversations with me. I'll engage briefly and then I go back to just starring at one of the walls in the house. My phone rung snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Hello" I answered

"Hey baby" my mom said on the line. A small smile crept onto my face.

"Hey mommy"

"What you doing, how's the baby" she asked.

"I'm just laying in bed and we are good" I answered back.

"You're still bed, it's like 12:00 oclock" she said. I frowned. It was just 8:40. Glancing over at the clock on the night stand. Sue enough it said 11:56.

"I didn't even know. It was just 8 something. Guess time flew" I said sitting up. I got dizzy and immediately laid back down.

"Sweetie are you ok" my mom asked. "You sound so...emotionless. Is everything ok"

"Yea mom I'm good, this pregnancy is just take a toll on me. I'm always tired, don't have any energy, my feet are always swelling up" I started naming things that were physically bothering me with this pregnancy.

"Mmm... it sounds like your depressed to me. Talk to me what's going on" she said. A list of things came to mind for me to say. I wanted to tell her everything I've been enduring but something in me wouldn't let me. Hell I wanted to cry but the tears just wouldn't form.

"I'm honestly good mom" I said closing my eyes. I was getting sleepy and was about to take a nap. It's not like I got anything else to do.

"Well ok sweetie if you say so, I know you'll open up when you're ready. I love y'all and I call to check in on you later." She said. I told her I loved her too and hung up the phone. I drifted off to sleep and was awaken two hours later by some mild cramps.