His Maid

Chapter 12

I fell back onto the bed gasping for breath, Damien was laying next to me after rolling off of me. "Does that prove to you that I don't regret fucking you?" He asked with a smile. 

"I don't know, you might have to do it again." I teased. 

"Well you are my personal maid, but I need a breather, I am pushing 30." 

"Really?"

"Yeah. I can't believe you didn't know my age."

"No I just can't believe that you were 28 when we had sex the first time." I chuckled.

"Does it make up for it?"

"Does what make up for what?" I questioned and tilted my head so I could see him properly. He was laying on his side with his head laying on his arm.

"Does that make up for your first time? Because I recall myself saying to you that if I had known you was a virgin, I would have made it more special."

"Oh, well it wasn't special but it was better." I brushed a hair out of my face and hissed in pain. "Ow, shit."

"What?" I felt my cheek and had only just remembered I never took the glass out of my cheek, it had now embedded itself into my skin and a scab was forming over it. 

"I never took the glass out of my cheek. I'm going to have to cut my cheek so I can get it out." I ripped the duvet off of my body and swung my legs over the side of the bed. I went into Damiens wardrobe and pulled out a white button up shirt and put on some of his briefs.

"Here I'll do it." Damien had pulled out a First Aid box from his bedside table cupboard and also put on some boxers. I sat down on the ottoman at the bottom of his bed and crossed my left leg over my right leg. He was kneeling on his knees in front of me with a needle in his hand. 

"Are you going to open my skin with a needle?" 

"Yeah, I do it when I get glass embedded in my skin, trust me it works. It might hurt so you might want to hold onto something."

"I'll be fine. I've been through a lot worse." He sighed and got to work on my cheek. Once I felt the needle enter my skin I blinked and gazed at Damiens face. His brows were furrowed in concentration, he had small wrinkles around his eyes and frown lines on his forehead. I felt the glass exit my skin and then the burn from the anaesthetic he wiped on my cut, then he placed a plaster on it. 

"What you said, about being with someone earlier, was it true?" He was now sat next to me on the ottoman and was looking down into his lap. 

"No it wasn't true, I was with someone but not sexually. I just had to dance for them." 

"Like a lap dance?"

"Yeah. Damien it's my job, I have to do it to get money to pay you back." I sighed. He nodded.

"I'm going to argue about it Marley, you do what you have to do."

"Good, because you have no say in the matter."

"What happened to you since you moved out?" I stilled. I was no longer smiling, I no longer felt giddy. I was just back to the Marley I was in the caravan. 

"Nothing." I stood up from the ottoman and went over to the balcony.

"What Curtis was doing wasn't nothing Marley!" He raised his voice. 

"It's none of your fucking business Damien. Anything that happened to me is none of your business because if you had never kicked me out it wouldn't have happened!" 

"Oh so it was my fault?"

"Partly, yes! If you had never kicked me out I wouldn't have gone through everything that I did." I ran my hand through my hair. "What we did doesn't change anything, I still haven't forgiven you. To be honest I might never forgive, but don't think that I am lying when I say that I am trying, because I am. I really really am, it's just hard."

"You're not the only one that blames me. I blame myself too." 

"I just- I can't do this anymore." A tear escaped my eye and I finally let the first layer of walls shatter. 

"Can't do what?"

"This!" I moved my arms in a circular motion. "Everything. I can't pretend that everything is okay, when I know that it isn't. I can't pretend that I have forgiven you, when I haven't. I can't pretend I don't love you, when I do. I can't pretend that I don't think I'm a terrible mother, when I am. I just can't pretend anymore."

"Wait a minute. What do you mean you are a terrible mother? Marley you are the best mother in the world, the things that you have endured over the past two years just to keep a roof over our sons head and to keep him fed, is unbelievable. You put your own health on the line to make sure that he was a healthy growing boy. You are nowhere near a terrible mother. I don't ever want to hear those word come out of your mouth again. You don't have to forgive me because I can't even forgive myself. You don't have to pretend that everything is okay when you are around me, just let me fix you. Let me help you with your past. Let me help you heal." I felt him place a kiss on my jaw. "Let. Me. Love. You." He muttered in between kisses.

"Uh Damien." I moaned. "Damien wait a minute, just- just stop for a second." He pulled away and looked into my eyes. "We can't get together. I- I need to find myself first, I can't just jump into a relationship when I don't even know who I am anymore."

"Who said anything about a relationship?" He asked bitterly. 

"W- well I just assumed that doing what we did would mean that we were together." I rushed out. 

"I'm kidding." He laughed. "I was kind of hoping for a relationship, but I am willing to wait as long as you need. But I have some ground rules." 

"I'm listening." I crossed my arms over you chest.

"Quit you job at that strip club, dancing club place."

"Damien I can't, I have to pay you back."

"No you don't. Listen I am not going to take Rhys away from you, and I am not going to make you pretend to be with me for publicity. I was just saying that because I was worried you was going to leave again. I am sorry I said that and made you get a job somewhere you might not be comfortable with. It's just another thing I have to earn you forgiveness for." 

"You really mean that? You won't take Rhys away from me?" I asked, my voice was quivering with vulnerability. 

"Marley, I promise you that I will never take Rhys away from you. Never." I rested my head on his forehead and sighed. 

"Thank you." 

"I couldn't take away the person you love the most in this world."

"One of the people I love most in this world."

"You love him more than me, trust me on that." He placed a peck on my lips. "Come on, let's go to bed." We stepped over to the bed and climbed under the blanket. We cuddled the whole night, and let me tell you it was the best sleep I have had in my whole 26 years of existence.