the umbrella academy one shots // TUA

dark night and darker coffee

Is this what he really wanted out of life?

Five sighed into his cup of coffee, the black liquid rippling with his breath. It seems he didn't have a choice.

On that fateful day so many years ago, he stripped himself of his one chance to be a kid. To grow up. And granted, under Hargreeves' care, he and his siblings didn't live a normal child's life, but he would have had friends. He wouldn't have had to fight to survive in a desolate post-apocalyptic world due to his own cockiness.

At least I hadn't been completely alone, he thought. I had Dolores.

He smiled, remembering the fun the two of them had. She was different now, but she was still his Dolores. She was the one thing that kept him sane- or rather, kept him from going more insane.

Still, he hardy had the chance to live. Surviving is not the same thing as living. Five, within that hard exterior of his, felt a pang of sadness.

His thoughts were interrupted by a man who, despite there being a full row of empty seats at the counter, sat next to him.

"I'll have a jelly donut," said the man to the waitress, as he adjusted himself carefully on the stool and fixed the cuffs of his suit. He had a groomed beard and a calm voice, and an unreadable demeanor that made you think maybe he was the kind of person with an occupation he had to lie about.

The man cleared his throat and and peeked over at Five, who was tracing the rim of the coffee cup with his finger idly.

"Kids drink coffee these days?" he chuckled.

"I'm not so sure, but I do," sighed Five, not looking up from his mug. The bearded man gave a look of "that's fair, I guess," and stared at the array of donuts behind the counter.

"What are you doing out this late? Don't you have folks that will worry about you?" he asked Five.

"No, I don't think so."

"Hmm."

There was a certain tension in the air between them at this point, but it wasn't awkwardness. It was an unspoken connection they had yet to discover, but they probably never would.

The waitress brought out the jelly donut for the man, and he smiled at her sweetly as she walked off. Five knew that look. Once she was out of earshot and eyesight, he broke the silence.

"You like her?"

This caught the man off guard. Either he wasn't sure if he did or not, or he didn't want to admit it yet. After a couple seconds of re-entering reality, he said, "Perhaps."

"Love is a wonderful thing." said Five, remembering his sweet Dolores. "I'm lucky I found the 'someone' for me."

The man chuckled again, entertained by the kid's strange maturity. "You're right about that." He then picked up the donut to take a bite, but before doing so, he paused. "Have you got a name, kid?"

"Not one that matters."

The man took a bite of his donut. "I get it, stranger danger. I'm Hazel, though."

"I like that name," noted Five, and Hazel thanked him. He never had the pleasure of seeing the point of having a name, not when he was simply a number to Hargreeves. He often wondered what life would have been like if he was a normal kid who had a normal name, with normal parents living a normal life. In the deepest aches of his heart, he wished he had the chance to have a childhood.

After a bit of silence, Hazel shifted himself so he was facing Five completely. "What's got you so hung up, kid? It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see you've got something on your mind. And I don't mean to intrude on your personal thoughts, I just thought maybe you would want to talk it out a bit, is all."

Five contemplated it. Still looking deep into his coffee cup, he perhaps hoped that he could dive right into the hot liquid and sink to the very bottom, where the world was less evil and life was a concept unheard of. It would be as if he hadn't existed at all.

"Hello? You okay?" Hazel asked, and Five snapped out of it.

"Oh, uh, yeah. Just... it's a lot."

Hazel flicked his wrist to look at his watch, which looked very familiar to Five. Hazel looked back up at the boy. "I've got all night."

It's not like Five was ever going to see this man again, not after the world ended in three days, that is. And if Hazel was a predator or something along those lines, Five could easily snap his neck and make his death painful but effective. He figured, why not? It's not like he could talk to anyone else about his deepest feelings. Sometimes you find the most comfort in the confidentiality of a stranger.

Five took a thoughtful swig of his coffee, and set it down carefully before he spoke. "I've had an interesting life," he started, glancing up at Hazel. "My... parents. They didn't really give me a chance to grow up, to experience the things a kid is supposed to experience. I remember being young, very young, and realizing that the life that was given to me was not one that was easy."

Hazel gazed ruminatively at the ground, perhaps trying to visualize what this boy's life could have been like. Perhaps, many siblings in a very poor house? Absent parents? He wasn't quite sure, but he wasn't going to probe.

"I saw my siblings - six of them, to be exact, all the same age - be hurt by our life. All of them were weak. I decided that I was going to be the strong one. I decided that I, no matter what was going to happen, would deal with all of the things life chucked at me without feeling. It would save a lot of hassle that way."
Five's expressions grew grim at the remembrance. "But sometimes, I wonder if things would have been different had I not tried to fit the mold I was given from my father. I was told I was an example, I was a tool for humanity; and that was my purpose. But gaining his adoration was not as fulfilling as I had hoped. He didn't love any of us. He just used us. And after I made a... life changing mistake, I realized that I was all alone. I had alienated myself. Not only emotionally, but literally."

"You ran away," Hazel said.

"I ran away," Five repeated, "and this time there was no going back."

He stopped talking abruptly. Five was a tough, adaptive, stoic person, but years of hardship will do something to you. And so, he did something he rarely ever did- and in front of anyone, at that. Hazel noticed the boy's eyes begin to shine in the dim, glowing light behind the counter. A sniffle or two broke the silence, but he quickly repressed the emotion and wiped a stray tear that defied his best efforts. Hazel looked at him somberly, and turning himself back forward, chimed in.

"There are a lot of things we're told we can and can't do, how we can and can't act. But I'll tell you now that it's okay to be vulnerable sometimes."

Five nodded, afraid that if he opened his mouth, his voice would be shaky. He went to go for another drink, but realized his mug was empty. He took that as an indication that his time there was done.

"Well," Five got up off of the stool and smoothed his suit, readjusted his tie, and held out his hand for the man to shake. "I enjoyed the chat... thank you. Hazel, was it?"

He smiled and shook the boy's hand. "It was. And I'm glad I could be of service."

Five walked out towards the door, but paused before he exited. "Hazel?" the boy looked over his shoulder, a new emotion filling him.

"Yes?"

"I say go for her. You never know when your chance will slip away."

Hazel smiled and nodded, and Five walked out into the cool night air. He added to himself quietly, "Or when the world will end."