Forced to grow up in a world that picked away who she was, Esmeralda travels down a dark hole whilst trying to hold onto love, her family, and a fragile mental health as she hopes for someone or something to save her.
Based off of the song, 'Pretty...
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He gazed up at the stars above him, letting his mind take a break to breath, which was something he often did when he found himself a bit too overwhelmed. It was a trait he had picked up from his father, whenever he'd have a long day at work or simply wanted to take a step back from reality, he'd go outside, no matter the time or how dark it was out, he'd stare up at the sky just to clear his mind. This was probably where Kyndel first developed his fondness for the outdoors.
It was going on twelve thirty and Kyndel was still waiting on the peculiar woman. He was becoming anxious and worried that she wouldn't show. What if their intervention at the game was the last chance he'd get to speak to her, what if he'd never get to leave the impression he wanted to on her life, he thought.
You'd think that after persuading, or more so black mailing her to come down here, he'd have the speech of a life time to give, but no, that wasn't the case. When he actually thought about it, he had no idea of what he would say to her. He wasn't a motivational speaker nor had he ever been in this predicament.
"Are you okay?" The sound of the gentle voice alerted the young man, but when he turned around it was only one on the maids collecting used towels from near the pool.
"Yeah ugh, I'm fine" he focused his gaze back on the sky that was dead of night. It was getting later by the seconds and by now Kyndel was drained and just wanted to go inside and go to sleep.
He wanted to walk through the glass doors that led to the inside of the hotel and go to his suite, but his divine morality would never let him. If only he decided to, he'd come face to face with the anxiety consumed girl, pacing back and forth through the hallway.
Esmeralda thought of the whole situation to be stupid, and the more she let it sink in, the more embarrassed she felt. But even more so than embarrassed, she was livid, who was he to hold that over her head when it didn't concern him not even the least bit, she thought. By now she was fuming, you could practically see the smoke spewing from her ears, and she was ready to let him have it.
Bursting through the glass door, Esmeralda scanned the room for the man she'd grown to dislike in the matter of hours. When she caught sight of him, she stomped her way over, making her presence known.
"So your like a therapist or something, right?" Her attitude was evident in the way she spoke, her voice was as cruel as a knife.
She took a seat at the edge of the poolside lounge chair beside him. Kyndel opened his mouth to speak but she cut him off.
"You know what? You really have some nerve, to think you have the right to tell me what to do with my life is beyond me. And at that, you tried to threaten me. Get a fucking grip! You don't know me, you don't know what I've been through, you wouldn't last a day in my shoes. So the next time I decide I want to jump the rail, maybe mind your damn business." It eventually hit him that the blackmailing wasn't the right way to go about the situation, but in that moment it was the only thing he could think of.
"I'm sorry, saying I'd tell your people, was a bit extreme. But I'd honestly do it again. And you're right, I don't know what you're going through, but maybe letting out the pent up frustration will help you. It's okay to vent sometimes Esmeralda." On his ride back to hotel, he had time to do a little digging on her, which obviously led him to her full name. But Wikipedia was still incapable of satisfying his curiosity brought on by the young woman. He wanted to now more about her and her story.
"Telling a stranger, my deepest, darkest secrets? I think not."
"Then don't tell me your secrets, tell me how you feel. Use me as your outlet."
"You want me to vent to you?" Her voice came across as skeptical.
"Yeah, try me", Kyndel retorted while beginning to lean back in his chair.
Within the matter of seconds her callous voice had soften. She didn't understand why his calm demeanor was rubbing off on her, when she was just ready to take a stab at his throat only moments ago.
"I can't.....I don't know how to."
"Clear your mind. It took a lot to push you to where you were last night so let it out. You don't know me Esmeralda, but you can confide in me, for the night just let me take the weight up off your shoulder blades and store your pain inside of me.
She contemplated on the thought for at least a minute. She wasn't sure if this was what she truly wanted to do, but it wouldn't hurt to try.
"You ever feel sad or down?" Esmeralda looked over her shoulder to get a glimpse of him.
"Yeah, sometimes I guess" he spoke.
"Okay, well um, that was kind of a dumb question, everyone feels down sometimes. It's more so a recurring feeling of sorrow, and your waiting for it to end but it just keeps going, and going, and going. It's a cycle you can't escape, your practically running in circles. Like, you honestly don't know what's wrong with you. Your life's pretty good compared to others, so you don't have any other choice than to be happy, because if not, your ungrateful. But although you may showcase happiness, you know deep down you don't compose it. Then you finally realize that your not okay, and search for the source of your problems. You thought that if you created a brighter future for yourself, then your past would eventually fade away, but it doesn't play out like that. So you search through all your skeletons and demons, but the only common factor is yourself. You feel as if you're the source of your own problems, so you try to neglect everything that makes you, you and just live on the outside, ignoring all of your inner emotions and thoughts. Now your running from yourself, because you can't live with yourself. So you choose not to" her voice began to crack, but she didn't stop. Esmeralda took a deep breath, then continued talking, because it actually did feel comforting. "But choosing means choices, and it's not my choice. I have people who rely on and look up to me, so I'm trying to push it out as much as possible, I promise I am. I have to try and live for them, because lord knows I can't find a reason to live for Esmeralda." She held her head down in embarrassment, while she focused on the fidgeting of her fingers in her lap and the hot tears cascaded down her face.
She looked over once again to get a glimpse of him, "this sounds dumb, huh? Maybe I should leave" she wiped her tears before rising from the seat she once occupied.
Kyndel gently grabbed a hold of her hand, "you don't sound dumb, you sound human." He said while looking into her eyes, then slightly tugging on her hand for her to sit back down, which she did.
Still holding her hand, he began to speak "Maybe you have to know the darkness, before you can appreciate the light. I don't fully understand the science behind it, but I can certainly attest to an unseen strength that comes to those who have good souls but face hardships so frequently." He took a pause before continuing, "I don't know your problems, nor the burden your carrying but I hope one day you realize that your fierce and strong, and full of fire, and that not even you can hold yourself back because your passion burns brighter than your fears. So if today all you did was hold yourself together, I applaud you."
His words didn't change how she felt about her life at the moment, but it did feel nice to know someone cared.
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Suicide is a real thing! If you ever feel as if your life has come to that point, just know you're not alone. 1-800-273-8255
