Forced to grow up in a world that picked away who she was, Esmeralda travels down a dark hole whilst trying to hold onto love, her family, and a fragile mental health as she hopes for someone or something to save her.
Based off of the song, 'Pretty...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
"What happened to you?" The question rung back and forth through Esmeralda's head as if Kyndel had asked it days ago and not seconds ago.
She pondered over the thought of telling him. In her eyes, she was already a basket case and she didn't need her sob story adding onto that. "You know, I'm starting to grow sick of sounding like a charity case in front of you," she said turning her gaze from him and out the window. Her voice was softer than before, to the point where Kyndel could sense her facade fading away.
"But no, it's your question so I'll give you an answer," gliding her finger across the glass that separated her from the outside, Esmeralda began to speak. "I think- I think I lost myself a long time ago, I don't know when, but life has been different for me for some time now," her life had seemed to be going down a black spiral; this felt like rock bottom to her, but it wasn't.
"I would say it started when I lost my mom, but that'd probably be a lie. My problems have been erupting way before that." Yes, the death of her mother was hard on her and yes, it did put a dent in her mental state, but to say it made her want to kill her self.. she wasn't so sure of that.
For a second, the idea that Kyndel was listening to her had slipped away. It felt as if she were in a room with her own thoughts, finally being able to relieve herself of her own crumbling mind. "Maybe I'm like this because of my dad, he ugh— he left when I was younger, but that too is very typical and barely a reason at all," Esmeralda spoke as if she were having a conversation with herself.
The day her dad left was the first time she could recall feeling actual pain. It happened all so suddenly in her eyes, but her mother, Heidi, could sense the household falling apart way before Marlon decided to walk out on the three. It broke Esmeralda, but so many other people had experienced the same thing and were able to comeback from it. It made her feel weaker than she already did trying to pin her troubles on a man she knew she could live without.
"It took me so long to convince myself I was better off without him. I tried so hard Kyndel," she said, finally looking over at him with the most pleading of eyes.
"Then he came back, and told me he missed me. It was nice at first, I had one of my parents back, I had a second chance to be a better daughter. But almost instantly he started needing me for more than my time, he wanted me to buy him things and give him money and I gave it to him, because of course, he was my dad. But when I couldn't or said 'no', it was like he'd shut me out. It felt like I went back to not existing in his world, so i gave him- so I give whatever he wants. And I know I shouldn't but I— I still want him to want me, I want him to choose me."
"It's disgusting that after all he'd done, I still miss being his little girl. I don't want him leaving me again." She didn't know that she had started to cry, her voice hadn't crack nor could she feel the irritation in her throat. Esmeralda's tears had went unnoticed by her, but were very apparent to Kyndel.
