Escape // A Larvis fanfiction

Chapter one.

"I try not to stumble in my walk of faith, by you know the temptations i face today. I experience desired that lead me away from your light. Sometimes the temptation is too strong for me, the desires seem to powerful to resist.

I need your help in this battle. I cannot walk alone. Lord, i need your guidance. My flesh is weak, please help me. Don't let me be dragged down by my own desires. Let my heart obey your word.

In the name of Jesus i pray,

Amen.."

The tears running down my face felt like acid burning through my soft, tan skin. I tried to breathe, but every attempt simply came out as a hiccup for help. I didn't understand what i did to deserve the feelings i experience and desire for someone i shouldn't? The way i feel about him is wrong, and God will never forgive me. So, why should i continue to feel these sinful ways. The only light keeping this holy building lightened was none other than the bright sun shining through the colored glass windows. Shadows surrounded me and spoke special things in my ears. I try to listen to them, but no matter how loud they scream, the feelings i experience never change. Sometimes, i try and scream back, but it doesn't do anything. I've tried punishing myself for the things i think. I bruise myself and make myself bleed on a daily basis because it seems to be the only thing that keeps me from being emotionless and numb. It keeps me as stable as i can be. My father helps out with it and hurts me just as much as i hurt myself, but it's still not enough. Why can't i just be...Normal?

I stand up from the praying position i was previously in. This silent, empty church almost seemed emotionally draining to look at. All the memories attached to it. My first baptism my father tried to drown me, and barely succeeded until there was a knock at the very doors my blue eyes skim across this second. Looking down, you can see blood stains on the floor from where he beat me so hard i bled all over the walls and floor. He made me clean most of it up, but he missed spots already stained into the floor. It was so exhausting to go through all these punishments, but this is what i deserve, and who would i be to ignore what I've always needed.

My footsteps are echoing through the halls, occasionally being a little louder than the previous one and making me jump. I'm pretty sure this is my first time being fully alone in this church, it honestly feels way better than when it has the drug addicted, assholes that are members of this place i ironically would call a hell hole. It's much more silent, there's no one chasing after me trying to abuse or yell at me, it's just so much more calm. But, despite how calm it might seem, that doesn't change or make me forget all the traumatic experiences and memories that have affected me so much i'm pretty sure i'll never even get close to forgetting them at all.

I slowly walk over to the wall that will soon be covered in none other than my own blood for the last time. I'm never coming back here, and that's final. I can't handle staying in my fathers presence anymore, and i want to make one last memory in this place and then ditch it all. I've got my bags all packed next to the front door, and i'm prepared to ditch everyone and everything for good. I relax my head against the wall and take one breath in and one out.

One hit doesn't do much.

Two hits begins to make my head ache.

Three hits leaves a little blood.

Four hits leaves a lot more.

Five hits and there's blood all over the wall.

Six hits and i begin to grow a little dizzy.

Seven hits and my vision starts to fade to black.

Eight hits and black is all i see..