London, England: 3 am
Being in a different country had never felt so cold and empty or perhaps it was just this night that plagued all of Brett's other thoughts and turned them into a feeling of emptiness. He felt like he was experiencing the colour grey. Dull, hollow, empty.
The feelings of the grey were reflected their hotel room with its grey walls, grey bedding, grey pillows, grey chairs, grey table and probably whatever else was in that room.
Since it was so late the sky was dark but sadly there were no stars out. Probably due to the light pollution or to the sky being full of clouds. Brett remembers the day being pretty cloudy. A grey overcast that filled his day.
So much had happened recently and Brett was too tired to deal with it. He didn't know how to feel anymore, he felt like a tired mess. Brett felt that he was so overwhelmed that his body decided to not feel anything at all. It felt like there was a space in his chest where his feelings should be. While touring was fun it was also very, very draining- physically and mentally.
Since Brett felt in such a way he couldn't sleep, too many thoughts were racked up in his mind. He gently rolled out of the grey bed, as to not disturb his partner, and put on his glasses. He didn't want to wake Eddy up and burden him with his thoughts.
He opened the balcony doors as quietly as he could and stepped foot out on it, shutting the doors behind him. Brett leant forward and rested his crossed arms on the railing, the cool air blew past him which made him feel slightly more at ease. He watched all the lights from the surrounding buildings, looked at the few stray people and cars moving around and listened to the sirens ringing from below. Even so late at night, the city was still busy and loud.
But it was still so hollow.
How could one place be so lively yet grey and lifeless? He found himself reflected in that, Brett knew he was having fun but how could he still feel so grey and tired inside.
While the cold air and sound from down below made him feel more relaxed. He still didn't feel right, there was just something wrong going on. He just didn't know quite what was wrong, Brett couldn't put his finger on it.
So what was it?
He stood there for a moment on the balcony allowing the cool air to pass through him, not really doing much at all. When he heard the door handles rattle open. Brett turned his head to see Eddy who had tiredness consuming his body.
".. what are you doing? You weren't in bed.." Eddy's voice was a half-whisper as he spoke rubbing his eyes and stepping out on the balcony. "It's like three in the morning, you should be asleep."
Brett didn't move and looked into Eddy's eyes, "I'm sorry I didn't mean to wake you up. I'll be in bed soon, don't worry about me," he offered a weak smile to Eddy.
Eddy didn't listen.
Still, a bit dazed from just waking up Eddy stepped closer to Brett and wrapped his arm's around Brett's waist. Eddy's arm's acted as though they were holding on and never letting go. Brett was a little surprised to be suddenly greeted with Eddy's warmth, both literal and emotional.
Eddy rested his sleepy head on Brett's shoulder, his eye's fluttered shut. He pressed a kiss onto Brett's neck. And then another. And another. And another. And another. And seemingly a hundred kisses were all implanted on his neck.
Until Brett gave in and started to giggle and Eddy's constant embrace, as he tried to break away from Eddy's arms.
"Stop, you're tickling me," Brett tried to be as quiet as possible but it sounded happier, much happier.
Eddy didn't give a verbal reply and instead opted to continue kissing at Brett's neck. Brett could feel Eddy's smile as the kisses became more intimate. They were smiling like idiots, like idiots who were completely and utterly in love with each other.
Eddy pressed his last kiss on Brett's jaw and said, "I love you," his voice was soft and quiet
Brett shifted his head slightly and kiss the side of Eddy's and mumbled, "I love you too. I love you so much."
They lived for small intimate moments like this, where it was just them. And, for a moment, everything was still. Everything was quiet and calm. The world had settled and became just the tiniest bit more bright.
London, England: 3:05 am
And, London didn't feel so grey anymore...
