Bound by Desire

Chapter 15

The stroke of a thumb across her hand woke Eve and she looked up into light brown eyes. Gideon.

It was true. All of it. The attack. Him coming back to her. Her mother. Tears welled in her eyes at that memory. How could she be gone? Her attack on Kornae. The voice, telling her to save the bad guy. The unrelenting agony that was her whole existence.

She didn't know she had tears streaming from her eyes until Gideon swept his knuckles across her skin. Skin that didn't hurt.

"Hold me?" she asked, flinching at the ache in her throat. It wasn't one that was going to send her to that pit of torment, but it reminded her of all the screams.

He stood and lifted her as if she were made of glass before sitting back down, her in his arms and she broke down.

Gideon couldn't keep his own eyes dry at the feeling of her, falling apart in his arms, but holding him close to her. He didn't deserve her hands on him. Didn't deserve to be the one to comfort her when he was one of the things that hurt her. Then there was the fact that every bit of it was his fault.

The others had told them of the things that had happened, and while none of them accused him, he knew. That green light that flashed in her window. They set him up and he dove right in. And she had paid so much to get him out. Too much. Rosewen should still be alive. Would be if he hadn't been so full of himself. So certain of his ability to eradicate the intruders. Hadn't succumbed to his rage.

Sebastian sat across from him and Gideon met his eyes. Standing, he tightened his arms around the shaking figure holding tight to him. He couldn't do it. He couldn't be the one. Not when he could still feel her blood.

Her arms pulled him closer and her voice was thick with tears. "Don't you dare let me go." Her eyes, so dark now, met his. "He did this, Gideon. Not you."

"I went back." His voice sounded just as broken as hers and he sat back down, hands wrapping around her back. "I went back, and he knew that you would come after me. He knew it."

"I'm sorry it took us so long to get here." She looked away then, and he could see the pain in her eyes. "I don't know what he did to you, but Coralia helped me to understand. I'm so sorry."

"Never say that," he said, voice cracking with the emotions raging in him. Emotions he could keep to himself. He shifted, gripping her shoulders and she looked at him, tears still falling. "Never apologize to me for anything. I'm the reason for all of this. I'm the reason your mother is gone. I'm the reason you almost died, should have died. What happened to Gabe. All of it is on me. I did this. You were safe, we were leaving. But I couldn't resist, could I? Never ever apologize to me." He didn't know his eyes closed until he felt her hand brush across his face. "Not after what I did to you."

"Did you know you were doing it?" she asked softly.

He shook his head. "No, I didn't, but that doesn't excuse a damn thing."

"I saw what he did to you. Not physically, of course. But mentally. It's not your fault."

He held out his hand, the mark gone. Her eyes flew up to his. His lips twisted into a sick parody of a smile. "It's been over a month. It's a part of me now." Her fingers traced this palm, fingers feather light. "But I wanted to get rid of it. To rip it from my palm." He wasn't going to tell her that he did try. When the skin grew back, it was still there. "The sight of it sickened me. Those red lines that brought me back to clarity." Her fingers had stopped with his words and he met her eyes once again. "My first memory since I lost myself was the taste of your blood in my mouth and my hand searching for your heart. How in the hell do you forgive something like that?"