The White Sheep's Disguise ✓

Chapter 23

Theoden's house is a safe haven on days like this. After I've spent hours arguing with Rylan about one issue or the other, I seek silence and kind people—people I actually care about—over stewing in silence in one room while my husband paces back and forth in another. He wants to make things right for all the wrong reasons, and by using all the wrong methods. I won't give him the benefit of the doubt, and I'll keep seeking safety underneath a thatched roof closer to the docks.

Castiel is sitting at the table when I walk through the door. He looks at me once, looks away, then snaps his stare back to fast I worry he'll break his neck. My brother's squirming movements, reaching towards me while fumbling with the wheelchair, is all he can muster. Fear drains from his face and a wave of relief, of relaxation, makes the dark circles underneath his eyes appear less visible.

Tears well in my eyes and I reach for him, throwing my arms around his neck to lock him in an embrace we've mastered over these three long years. I crouch low and he bends forward, resting his cheek against the top of my head and clutching tight onto my back. He feels even thinner than he did before. Either that or I had too many dreams about him being strong and able to walk. I don't care. I breathe him in, the stench of leather pouring off of his clothes and mixing with the bottle of oil on the table.

His body shudders against mine and I wonder if he might begin crying, but he pulls at my shoulders to force our eyes to meet. They're dry like a stream in summer. But full of surrounding life. "You are never leaving me again," he promises. A whimper absconds my throat as I know I cannot make that promise, and this embrace is only the beginning of this unfortunate exchange.

I missed his face. I missed the smell of his craft—cleaning and repairing footwear—and the reminder that I don't give a damn anymore if he places a stranger's sole on Theoden's kitchen table. His brown eyes have never resembled a pool of honey more, though I am slightly disappointed that he hasn't kept his hair tamed. It sticks up in disarray, shooting out in all directions around his scalp.

I run my hand down the side of his face just to ensure he's actually here and I'm not faced with an illusion put forth by the Raven Queen. Like Setsuko said, she can spiral from being the kindest woman in the land to reminding her people exactly why they bow to a pristine intensity on the throne. "I missed you so much," I whisper. "I can't explain everything that has happened."

"That doesn't matter." He shakes his head wildly and flicks my nose. "You can tell me everything, from the queen to your luxurious experience at the palace. As long as you're here, I'll listen. But I won't care. All that matters is that you're alive and breathing and sitting here in front of me without a scratch on your body." He squeezes me tight once more, taking the breath from my lungs, but pauses. "Unless you're hiding something."

Castiel picks at my clothes, thick brows furrowed as he pulls up my sleeves, then turns my head to get an ample view of my neck. Nothing. After two weeks, I didn't face a scratch on the surface of my skin. How unbelievable. Our father's stories have led him to believe that I can't possibly return without a single battle wound.

"Castiel, stop," I plead, batting his hand away. Maybe it's the joy of being back in his presence, or just that he lifts the threats away, but I laugh. It's such an easy feeling. "Nothing happened to me. Not physically, at least." The shock wave from the Raven Queen on my first day in the palace was enough to scar me internally, but that moment seems so distant now. "Where's Theoden?"

"He's at the market, rationing coins, probably." His face drops after being overcome with the multitude of discovering I'm alive. "These past two weeks have been tougher than normal. Rylan wouldn't give us any information as to what happened besides what Chaska saw, so we paid a guard to discover you're still alive. Until they pay either of us again—"