mommy issues

1

     It's the first day of my senior year at Grey View High School. Last year, my sister died due to suicide. Soon after that, my parents split up and I haven't heard from my mom since the divorce. Sam would be starting her Sophomore year in college, she would probably be going to community college because she's not one for being social and meeting new people.

     My younger brother, Wren, is starting his freshman year. Luckily he won't already be labeled as "The Boy Whose Sister Killed Herself Last Year." I got that label, I swear, the day it happened. I got my license over the summer, so I'm able to take Wren to school. My best friend Caleb lives on the way to school, so we made a deal that I'd take him to school in the morning and he buys me coffee.

     Caleb and Wren are silent in the car, until i realize that I am too. How long has it been silent for? I begin to open my mouth to say something, but Caleb beat me to it.

     "I'm going to the lacrosse meeting after school today, so I cant make coffee," Caleb says as the side of his mouth falls to a frown.

     "No worries," I flash him a quick smile while keeping my eyes on the road. Caleb has been good about not pitying me, but he does do it sometimes. And I know he means well, but it still bothers me when he does it.

     I pull into my parking space that I paid a hundred dollars for. Shout out to public schools scheming the money of their broke ass students. Wren immediately hops out of my car and speed walks to the school doors. I shake my head and grab my bag out of the back seat. Caleb and I both slam my car's doors before we begin walking into Grey View.

    My thoughts about the day were interrupted by Kylie Wells. She was running up to me and  crashed into my body. Stunned, I pull away and give her a look of "what the fuck?"

     "How are you, babe?" Kylie asks with a pitying look on her face and shifting her eyes to Caleb then back to me me.

     "I'm fine, thank you Kylie," I roll my eyes and continue walking. Caleb and Kylie both walking along side me, except Kylie was on my arm and Caleb was keeping his limbs to himself.

     "Are you sure? Wren didn't look like he wanted to be social at all," shes now looking way too deeply into things.

     "Thats how Wren is, Kylie. He's-" I begin, but my focus is taken by this boy standing against the exterior wall of the school.

     I faintly hear Kylie say something of "oh my fucking god." Shes gawking. I'm gawking. Every girl on campus must be gawking. Caleb continues walking while Kylie and I stay back and stare for a moment before catching up.

     "Thats Harry Styles, he's new and he's a senior too." Kylie smiles, obviously proud of herself.

     "And who cares?" Caleb chimes in, I almost forgot that he's here, "Right, Joey?" he says with hope.

     "I don't know Caleb, he's quite the attention getter," I respond with a smile.

     We pass by Harry, he locks eyes with me and I immediately pull mine away and erupt in awkward giggles.

     "He looked at you!" Kylie cheers.

     "I know!" I continue to giggle.

     "They always look at you." Kylie says with a pinch of salt, to which I ignore.

     "I'll see you guys later," Caleb waves and puts his arm around his girlfriend, Ella.

     Kylie and I walk our separate ways to class, both of us smiling. We may be smiling for different reasons, but she's surely not smiling for me. Kylie is kind of selfish, she stops at nothing to get what she wants and she obviously wants Harry. She can have him, I'm not for the competition.

     Class was dead, completely boring. I've been sitting in my car for about fifteen minutes waiting on my brother. He lacks the basic skill of communication, which can be undeniably aggravating. My fingers dial his number for the third time and he sends me straight to voicemail, so now I have to go looking for him. I toss my bag, well, more like throwing, into the backseat of my car before stepping out. My heels slam against the sole of my shoe as it hits the pavement. I'm beyond irritated. It is most certainly not hard to let me know if he's not getting a ride home.

     As I'm walking around the sports fields hoping he's lingering around here, I hear chuckles around the back corner of the school. I follow the sound and here we go. Wren and his dweeby friends are sitting behind a dumpster smoking a joint.

     "Are you fucking serious?" I speak and all four of the boys and one girl jump and turn their heads, "this is what we're doing now? Getting fucking high behind the goddamn school?"

     "Jo don't start," Wren huffs and takes a hit from the joint staring at me blankly.

     "How dumb are you? Seriously, how fried does your brain have to be for you to smoke on school grounds?" I grab his wrist and pull his fragile body off of the ground.

     "Yo, cool out," a female voice comes from behind me. I spin around a see a pale girl with hair that's been bleached five too many times.

"Who the fuck are you?" I ask in disgust and turn to my brother, "this is who you hang around?" I fire at Wren.

     "Jo chill the fuck out!" Wren whisper-shouts at me and snatches his wrist out of my hold.

     "I don't care that you smoke, Wren, but it won't be here," as I say this every one loosens up, the girl in particular rolls her eyes and hits the joint, "and it won't be with them."

     "You are not mom, Jo. If I was supposed to be parented then I'd call mom. Oh wait, mom doesn't fucking care about me to be a parent," he says...sounding exactly like mom. The girl passes the joint to Wren again and I swear I've never been more pissed off.

     "Mom didn't just leave you,." I snatch the joint out of Wrens hand, throw it on the ground, and squish it under my foot putting it out. All while staring at the girl who obviously has something towards my brother.

     I pick up the half rolled and half squished join and put it in my pocket. If I'm getting anything out of this, I'm getting high later without paying for it.

     "Let's go," I snap at Wren and walk away. He trails behind me walking slow.

     We get into the car and I open my mouth to start bitching him out, but I close it. He won't listen, he never listens to anyone. Anyone except for Sam.

     "You can't be that dumb," I begin softly and my baby brother looks at me with defeated eyes, "smoke all you want, but find better friends."

     He ignores me, which is fine, I know he heard me. He takes what I say into consideration, I know he does because we are the same. We both feel a little bit like we don't really fit in, I know where he's at. I've been where he's at: getting high with the wrong people and not giving a fuck about the world or myself. I don't want him to fall down that same hole.

     The rest of the night was morbidly boring. My teachers didn't necessarily give me homework other than to buy specific things for the class. I spent my night making dinner for Wren and myself, then for my dad when he eventually gets home from work. Then, I cleaned the already clean house, which was mostly the dishes. Nobody was home all day, so the cleaning was very minimal. It's around 9 pm when there's a soft knock on my bedroom door. It creaks open, and my dad's big head pokes through the crack with a soft smile.

     "Dinner was delicious Joey," he smiles a little bigger.

     "Thanks dad," I smile back.

     "You make everyday so much easier and I really appreciate it," he opens my door more and leans on the door frame, "I never hear any complaints from you or Wren, I'm so proud of you both. Thank you."

     "Of course dad. Goodnight," I force a smile. He has no clue about Wren and I intend to keep it that way. I will somehow fix him or ease whatever he's going through to make his life and my life more bearable.

     I wash my face then hop back into bed and unlock my phone. A smile plays across my face. Harry Styles followed me on twitter.