Stripped

Chapter 18

Somehow I thought that this date with Jake would make my decision even more difficult than before. Never had I thought that with only one sentence the choice would be made for me. "Jake, I am so incredibly sorry for putting you through all of this. I'm sorry I was so selfish to make you wait for a choice." My throat was tightening as I spoke, "The truth is that we don't even know each other anymore. It's been ten years! How could we not be different?" I paused and took a deep breath, "I guess what I'm saying is...I think we're better as friends."

A range of emotions passed over Jake's face, each one worse than the one before. At last he said, "I can't believe you Layla. I left Megan for you. And you're just going to choose him just like that?"

"I didn't tell you to dump her! I said we shouldn't be friends at the beginning of all of this because you were engaged. I was the one that wanted to move on and you just couldn't let me go. You kept coming back to the bar. Why?" How ridiculous of him to blame me for his broken engagement. I never asked him to stand up for me.

"Because I love you Layla!" Jake said.

"No," I shook my head, "you don't love me. You're in love with fifteen year old Layla. The one that was beaten and abused. I am not her anymore Jake. I love you but, I'm not in love with you."

"You love Mark. Don't you?" I responded with a nod and I watched the muscles in Jake's jaw tense. "Come on. I'll take you home."

"I'm really sorry Jake." I said, leaning forward and kissing him on the cheek. A sort of farewell, hopefully just a temporary one. "You don't have to take me home, I'll call a cab." I picked my shoes up and started heading for the door. I would call a cab and simply wait in the hallway till they got there.

Jake grabbed my elbow, "Layla, it's after midnight. And I know Mr. Moneybags will come for me if something happens to you and it was my fault. Just, let me drive you home."

Reluctantly I agreed, the drive to my apartment was tense. Neither of us knew what to even say to each other so we opted for silence. Jake turned on the radio to fill the void and I was grateful for it.

The truck came to a halt outside my building and Jake started to get out. This time I grabbed his arm, "It's okay. I can just go. You don't need to do this. The ride was enough."

Jake sighed in frustration, "You don't get it. I am taking you home. I am making sure you get there safely. I'm hurt Layla but that doesn't mean I've stopped caring about you." His eyes went to the ring at my throat. His shoulders sagged at the sight of it.

I had almost forgotten it was there, it felt so natural on me. I lifted the chain off my neck and placed it in Jake's palm. "You told me to hold onto it and I did. But I'm okay now. Thank you for giving it to me." I closed his hand over it and turned to climb out of the car.

At the door to my apartment Jake said, "I think I'll just take off." He kissed my forehead briefly. Without meeting my gaze he turned and left.

For a while I stood outside the apartment, I wasn't sure I would be able to talk about what happened just yet. Kara was bound to be ready with questions. So when I opened the door I was careful to be as quiet as possible. The usual squeak in the hinge mercifully remained silent as I let myself inside. I poked my head around the door to see if Kara was still awake.

The living room lights were off but I could see the flickering of the television. I tiptoed over to the couch and found Kara unconscious with her phone in her hand and her mouth hanging open. Smiling, I dragged a blanket over her and turned off the television.

In the dark I silently made my way to my room. I stripped out of my clothes and collapsed on the bed. Being so exhausted, I thought I would pass out quickly. But the look of pain on Jake's face haunted me. It was hard to believe I had done the right thing when my best friend was so hurt. He had even driven me home when he could have thrown me out. After the beautiful evening he had planned that I had effectively ruined, even I wouldn't have blamed him.

For hours I laid on my bed, worrying myself sick about Jake. I finally fell asleep just as the morning sun was slicing through the gap in the curtains.

"Laaayyyyla," I heard my name being drawn out in a teasing manner. Someone was stroking my hair, I batted at their hands and rolled over burying my face in my pillow. No, I wanted to sleep. "Laayyyyla," I heard again, "it's time to get up."

I opened one eye and scanned the room, the only person who would come in here while I was sleeping was Kara. Sure enough she was grinning at me, "Leave me alone." I said grumpily, rolling over and burying my face in my pillow.

Finally, frustrated that I wasn't waking up, Kara picked up a pillow and began to pummel me with it. "Get. Out. Of. Bed. Now." Each word timed with a blow from the pillow.

I shot bolt upright in bed and shoved her. She toppled over, making a loud thump on the carpeted floor. "Hey!" She squeaked as she scrambled back to her feet, "Layla get up!"

Next thing I knew I was rolling off the bed and landing with an even harder thump than Kara did. The second sound earned us a loud scolding from the neighbor below us. "What the hell are you doing?" I demanded as I got to my feet.

"I'm trying to wake you up. You need to tell me what happened last night. I didn't think you would be here when I got up."

"Yeah, well last night didn't really go like I expected." I said, scrubbing the sleep out of my eyes.

"Uh oh. What happened?" Kara asked sitting down next to me.

I rested my head on her shoulder, "Jake told me he loved me...and I couldn't say it back."

Kara stopped me, "So what are you saying?"

I sighed, "I'm saying that I made a choice. And Jake just isn't the one."

Kara gasped and threw her arms around my neck, "Layla that's amazing! Have you told Mark yet?"

I shook my head. Even if I hadn't gotten in so late the night before, I wouldn't have been able to call him. The guilt was eating me alive. "You should have seen the look on his face. He was so hurt Kara." The worst part was that Jake's pain was all my fault. I hadn't even considered what Jake and Mark were experiencing during my time of my indecisiveness. I was only concerned about what I was feeling. "I broke his heart, but he still cared enough to drive me home." I buried my face in my hands and started to sob. "I'm a terrible person Kara."

Kara pulled my hands away from my face and kneeled in front of me, "Layla that's crazy! You are not a bad person because you don't love Jake. If you had said it and didn't mean it...well, THAT would make you a bad person. But you just don't love him and that's okay. He will be alright."

All I wanted to do was call Jake amd take it all back. What if after this we weren't friends anymore? What if he cut me out of his life? "He hates me."

"I bet he doesn't. Just give him some time to get used to it. Besides you're a hit with the band. He has to keep you around."

I knew she was trying to make me feel better but when I thought of sharing the stage with Jake again my stomach did a somersault. "Don't even talk about the band," I said miserably.

"So, are you going to tell Mark?"

"I will," I just need to take a day. Yes, one day where I don't worry about men was what I need. "Just not yet."