The blue house sat tall and strong just as it always had. I looked up at the structure and removed my sunglasses. This house never seemed to change, no matter how much I did. Laughter rang out from the backyard.
I smiled to myself and moved toward the gate. Absentmindedly I reached out for Mark's hand, but it wasn't there. My heart ached deeply as I looked at the empty space next to me. Even after five years I still expected him to be there, waiting for me to hold his hand. I guess it was something that I would never really get used to. I could still hear his voice saying his final words, "I love you Layla," he'd said as he breathed his last breath.
Ever since I hadn't been the same, Kara tried to be there for me, but things were falling apart between her and Jake. They'd gotten married but it didn't last. Neither of them would ever tell me what happened. "It just didn't work out," they would say cryptically. Eventually I stopped asking.
"Hey are you coming back?" Said a voice, tearing me from my trance.
Jake was standing in front of me, just as handsome as ever, grey hairs now smattering the scruff on his chin. "Y-yeah, sorry I was just spacing out." I approached the gate that Jake had opened for me and let him lead me to the back yard. His hand rested comfortably on my the small of my back. My skin tingling beneath his touch.
Tom and Ellen greeted me with cheerful smiles. "Oh honey!" Ellen said standing up and wrapping her arms around me. "It's been so long!"
That was an understatement. I hadn't spoken to either of them since Mark died. I couldn't bear the pity on their faces. I couldn't be around anyone that reminded me of him. I shut out everybody in my life. This was the first reunion I had been to since. "I-I know. I'm so sorry Ellen."
She squeezed my hands in hers, her grip still as strong as ever. "Don't you worry about a thing. You needed time. I'm just glad you're here now."
Tears were threatening, I tried to remain calm as I went in for a hug with Tom. It only lasted for a minute though, as I tore myself away from his grip. Being here without Mark was too much. "I'm sorry, excuse me."
Keeping my teary eyes low, I ran for the house. I nearly tripped up the stairs and ran over a small child on my way to Jake's room. It was an office now, and it looked odd. I sat down in the chair at the desk and wept into my hands.
I wasn't sure how long I sat there sobbing, but it must have been long enough for someone to come searching. "I knew I'd find you in here."
My head snapped up and my vision cleared to reveal Jake. He was leaning against the door jamb, just as he always did, giving me his sexy smirk. "Oh...uh," I started to say wiping my eyes on my hands. "Sorry...I didn't mean to intrude." I became flustered and stood to adjust my skirt.
Jake's hands went to my shoulders, "Whoa there Baby." I hadn't heard him use that name in years. He stopped calling me that when I chose Mark. It still had the same effect on me as it did then. A chill ran up my spine. "Are you okay?"
I took several shuddering deep breaths. Get it together, Layla. I scolded myself silently. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just...being back here...alone. It's just....it's a lot."
Jake tugged me to him, enveloping me in his warm embrace. The familiar scent invaded my senses, and instantly I relaxed into him. A wave of emotions crashed into me, having Jake hold me like this felt wrong. But I didn't want him to let me go. "I miss him too Baby," Jake whispered, I could hear the tears in his voice.
They had been best friends, Jake and Mark. Nearly inseparable. For a long time we were all close. Until Mark got sick. That's when it all fell apart. "I didn't mean to disappear." I said into his shoulder. "I just couldn't deal with anyone, anything that reminded me of him."
"It's okay, we all understand. What happened was horrible. No one expected you to be okay." When we broke apart, Jake's eyes were damp and his nose slightly red. "I've missed you Baby." He brushed my hair away from my face.
"Me too," I said, avoiding his emerald gaze. I couldn't let myself get lost in it.
This was easier when we were emailing back and forth. Making arrangements for my visit out here. Easier to talk even though I tried not to let my emotions run away with me, telling myself that I couldn't do this to Mark.
When I revealed that I felt like I was cheating on Mark, Kara told me I was being crazy. That after five years, I deserved to be happy. "Mark is gone Layla. And he loved you so much, he wouldn't want you to live like this." She paused briefly, and took a deep breath, "Look, I know that Jake and I never explained it to you. It happened right after Mark died. It was all too fresh for you. We couldn't tell you the truth..."
"What are you talking about Kara?"
"The reason we split up...it was because he loves you Layla. He always has. He never said a word as he watched you get married and have kids, never said a word when he married me. But... when Mark died. Things changed. He wanted you."
My heart was in my throat, she shouldn't be telling me this. "No, Kara. You don't get to drop this on me. Not after five years of not telling me." I had been so angry at her. She had to show up at my door to get me to speak with her. In the end she convinced me to get in contact with him.
For weeks Jake and I emailed back and forth, occasionally we talked over the phone. But this was real. He was standing in front of me. Jake had waited for me. Just as he had before. With a trembling hand, I reached for his. His fingers wrapped around mine, the warmth of his hand taking away the chill in my body.
That was when his gaze captured mine, he drew me in close to his body. This time, I felt that familiar connection between the two of us. The way his hands sent jolts of delight racing through my body. They travelled up my torso, cupping my face. His mouth was close, his lips grazed mine carefully. Testing my reaction. My stomach leaped at the contact. I started to pull away, Jake released me. "Sorry, I didn't mean to push you..." He looked guilty, his eyes cast downward.
"It's okay," I answer, "I'm just not used to anyone...touching me."
Jake played with a strand of hair that lay on my shoulder, "Kara told me. She told me to take my time. She's so worried about you. We all are."
I smiled weakly, "Believe it or not, I'm better. I miss him, but I don't want to be alone anymore."
Jake kissed me then, and I let him. I let my lips slacken beneath his and parted them for him to deepen the kiss. He pulled back, and rested his forehead on mine, "Oh Baby, you won't be. Never again."
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Stripped
Romansa"I've got you," he repeated over and over rocking me back and forth as I bawled into his shoulder. "Don't worry baby. I'm going to get you back. I promise." Then he pulled away for a moment and lifted the chain from around his neck gently placing it...