Risk - An Ethma Story

THREE

Ethan~

Monday's. where do i even start.
Well i could start with the fact that i haven't done any homework, or maybe i could even say that i haven't had anything to eat in a day.

But what i couldn't say,

was that i haven't been thinking about Emma.
that i haven't been wondering why she's been acting so strange. It was about a week ago I took her home that one night, and ever since then she's been pushing me away.

Before, i knew we didn't talk. but i don't know, i guess i just thought maybe after all that happened...that maybe we had a shot at becoming close again. like close.

your probably thinking i like her, but I don't. i really don't. like she's cute, and her laugh makes me laugh, and the way she eats Oreos is adorable but i don't like her, like that.

i don't know.
and i can't know.
because she doesn't talk.

well she talks.

just not to me.

I don't know if i did anything wrong. and parts of me wants to just go to up and ask her what's up. I want to be there for her. only her.

it's 5th period, english class. the hands on the clock moved very slow. matter a fact it didn't look like they were moving at all for a while. I need to talk to her. I need to talk to Emma.

the bell rings and i'm out of class. Knowing where Emma's locker is i start to head that direction. had to turn a few corners but finally saw my destination.

there she was. standing there in her grey sweater with her blue jeans that fit her figure so perfectly. wow. She was smiling. talking to one of her friends i assume. The girl she was talking to was kinda cute.

When i came up to Emma i felt her eyes on mine. her tropical ocean blue eyes that waved to my forrest ones. God damn. It was almost like I completely forgot. i got lost.

"Hey Emma." I blurt with a smile. trying to be as chill as possibly.

"Ethan." her eyes began to soften but i could see the confusion. "hey." she finished.

I stuttered just a tad in the beginning. "H-h-hey so can i talk to you?" she began to nod, "of course, is something wrong?" she crossed her arms and leaned against her locker. her head slowly tilting revealing the veins in her neck. her detailed jawline. i could smell the lavender perfume she had on.

"No, well um, yes. it's just that-" I kept looking at the girl next to her hoping she would get the message to leave. "I'm sorry we haven't met. my names Ethan, yours?"

she responded shyly, "Samantha, call me sam." I gave her a quick smile, she clearly had no bad intentions with Emma so i let her slide. "Hey i need to talk to Emma privately, is that okay?" i told her. "oh i'm so sorry! bye Emma see you later." i waved her goodbye.

i looked back at Emma who now had a different expression. Like she knew what i was going to say, but didn't know what to say, and hoped she wasn't right. she moved a strand of brown hair behind her ear.

We just stared for at each other for a second.
wondering who would say something first.

"Emma, I don't know what happened. I must've made you feel uncomfortable. and i'm so sorry. i never meant to push past the lines. I just want you to talk to me. i don't want to avoid this anymore."

"Ethan we shouldn't talk about this here." she told me, looking around. "Meet me at my house tonight. come through my window and we'll talk, catch up." she looked serious. i just observed her. the way she worked was something complicated, but i slowly began to understand.

"Oh okay, yea. see you then." i didn't know what else to say. like there is literally nothing else for me to say. It was an awkward tension for a second so i just turns around and grabbed my keys from my pocket.

Wait what time?

I turned around. wishing i didn't.

because there she was. with her lips on jacks and his hand cupping her cheeks. her hand holding onto him waist. and both of their eyes closed.

I felt weird just watching them kiss.

I felt weird that i was feeling weird.

I felt weird that i was jealous.

I felt bad because she doesn't know what a real kiss feels like.

I felt worse when i realized that i could never be jack.

That even if i gained feelings for her. she'd never feel the same.

I don't have a time, and i never found it out. i just turned around and walked to my car.

-

Emma~

The kiss. was something worse than bad. it was awful. It had no meaning. it had no hope. it was just saliva and gross chapped lips that were on mine.

Ethan came by. i know why. i've shut him out. And i feel. awful. but i did it for his own good, for his own safety.

This was just my life. and whether or not i was happy- i was never happy. i didn't have a choice.

whatever i could do to avoid a beating, or worse. was what need to happen.

But i did something stupid. and i don't know why i did it. the words just flowed out my mouth.

i invited Ethan over.

putting him in the worst danger.

but he deserves an explanation. i deserve and explanation.