I was just looking into this beautiful scenery in a lake, full flocks of swan and skies filled with a flock of birds, I was lost in thought, I was overthinking, I am hearing some footsteps getting close to me. You greeted me and asked me what I am doing all alone here, in this beautiful lake, I told you I was just thinking over. You told introduced yourself to me and I also introduced mine to you, you told me you are here also because something happened, and wanted to think it also, instead of thinking, You told me great stories of your life instead, on how well you do on your life, It was a great life indeed, your life full of adventure, when you were story telling, About on your life to me, you were proud by just telling it to me, telling me all of your good deeds, you were kind, you were brave, I fell in love with you because of your stories, I fell in love of how proud you are, you caught my heart without realizing it. We have been going into the lake often during weekends, it became my favorite place, Because you are always there waiting for me, always excited to tell me your greatest, Stories you had experienced, I was still in love with you, without you realizing it.
The way I look at you can't be defined, I was in love, it was my first time to fell in love. Weeks had passed, we are already dating without even realizing it, at first it was fine for me dating without label but after sometime of overthinking, I wanted to be your woman, I wanted to become your girlfriend, I wanted to be yours and yours to be mine, so I asked helped for God, I had prayed and prayed, until one day my prayers were answered. You confessed and asked me, to become your girlfriend, yours hands hiding something, it was a bouquet of flowers, you promised me something that caught my attention, You promised me that you will love me and court me until the last flower would die. My heart was filled with joy, my mind with excitement because I waited this moment for so long, I had agreed to become your girlfriend. as I was observing the bouquet of flowers for months they were withering already, but one flower remained on how beautiful it was when you had given it to me.
I was anxious because when the last one Would die, you will no longer love me, but I was in the wrong, it was a plastic one flower had you prepared, you will love me until your last breath. I was lucky to be your girl because it was my first to be in love and in a relationship, to have found a man that is sweet, gentle and caring, and most important of all true to his words. We are already dating for years my feelings for you didn't change at all, I was still in love with you, you had changed my life, everything in my life right now was full of brighter colors than ever before, I was just so happy to have ever found you, Day by day I would always pray for your safety, and for our relationship to stay longer. I was afraid that a day would come that, you will no longer love me, all of this moments that we had spent together will just be wasted in a matter of day, I don't want it to happen, it's the only thing I could ever think of, because didn't show up for weeks already, I was always checking the lake, if you were there, but you weren't there. I was hoping that you are okay, I was praying that nothing bad happened to you.
I was afraid because you didn't contact me anymore, I was afraid to lose you, My everything, the time that we had spent together, I became so anxious, I even visited your relatives just to ask on your whereabouts but sadly to say, They didn't know either. I was afraid, my intuition telling me something that something bad might happened, because you are not showing yourself to me anymore. I wanted to become drunk just to forget all this, even just for a moment. I visited a bar a usual bar I go to whenever I am done, what I had saw shocked me, I was in daze, you are with another woman, you explained to me It was nothing at all, Between you, but I can't believe your words anymore.
your mouth full of honesty, Became a mouth full of lies, because my intuition tells me so, and it was never even wrong before. I had asked you why aren't you contacting me and you told me because you got busy of your work, I asked you why aren't you going into our usual spot anymore, you just told me you are busy with your work, but just to find you here having your time around with another woman, I didn't want to do a scandal, Instead I asked you to come with me, I wanted you to confess everything.
You told me that you just lost interest in me, you got bored with me, I didn't know what to do anymore, I didn't know what I had lack the most, My love turned into hatred, my hope filled with despair, and my mind can't think properly, it was the moment that I feared the most. A fear that could break my own heart, a fear that you will no longer love me. I had asked if you still remembered What you had promised to me, and you told me yes, I was happy for a moment but, I didn't even know that the promise you had made, would just break my heart into shattered pieces of broken glass, that no one could ever fixed, it was wrong on my part to let you became the piece to cover my own missing piece.
It's already been a decade and I haven't still fallen in love with another man, nor had wanting the idea of falling in love again, I'm scared to be treated special for a moment just be discarded if I am no longer of use towards anyone. I'm still battling the wounded heartaches and memories you have given to me, my dear ex love, even as of today I still loved you, no matter how hard I tried hating you, I can't do it, that's just how much I love you, the rage that I have in that day wasn't real, it was just me pretending just for your own sake.
