The Praying Mantis || JJK

The Anguish °

It had been a week and everyone was getting closer to the new arrivals. They seemed to get along with almost all of the family. Moth was still avoiding Ladybug, which was strange to me, since he's not the type to avoid people if he doesn't like them, he usually insults them until he gets bored. But he would literally change room if she was in it. Something was going on.

In the meantime, my wound was getting better, but I was always anxious, I started overthinking everything for the fear that someone of our enemies was listening or watching us. And now that I was the boss I was probably more exposed, even though Beetle suggested that for a while we kept it secret so that they wouldn't target me for the next shooting. So outside of the family and the people at Insecta no one knew I was the new boss. But my anxiety made me doubt of everyone, because they could have paid someone to be a mole inside the House. Or even a killer. I was starting to wonder if the House was still safe. I didn't know until what point the Orbs would have pushed themselves to defeat us. It's not like they never attacked us before in those five years that I had spent in the Insecta, but now it was different. Now it depended all on me. My family and my people's lives depended on me and I had to keep them safe. Honeybee and Ladybug came to us thinking they would have been safe and I promised I was going to give them protection, but I had no idea if I was going to be able to keep that promise.

And that's how my anxiety attacks started. In the beginning it was just like a tremor, my hands would start shaking and I would break out in cold sweat. But then they got worse when Honeybee gave me some news I really didn't want to hear.

-Come in- I said after hearing someone knocking on my office door.
Honeybee crossed the doorway with a worried look on his face.
-Hey, you need something?- I asked.
-I need to talk to you...-
-What about? Is it something about the equipment we got you?-
-No, they work fine... The thing is... You know, I was listening to their calls...-
-The Orbs?- I asked, giving him my entire attention.
-Yeah...-
-So what? They talked about us?- I could already feel my hands shaking, but I hid them under the table.
-Yeah... They said they're not gonna stop until they kill the last one of the Insecta...-
-What?!- I yelled, standing up and putting my hands on the table.
-And they're also working on some plan to find the House and take us by surprise...-
-Th... I... Wh...- I started stuttering and I felt my heart starting to pound faster in my chest and my breath getting shorter.

Without even realizing it, I was hyperventilating. I felt like the air wasn't getting to my lungs and my eyes became watery.
-Mantis!- I could hear Honeybee's voice and I could see his blurred figure run to me, but my body wouldn't respond to me.
I felt his hands grabbing my arms and then my face. He made me look into his eyes but I couldn't see him. I couldn't see anything, my mind was somewhere else. He was still talking to me but the words weren't clear.
Then I felt him get closer and rest his forehead on mine. I could feel his warm breath on my lips and I slowly started to hear again. His voice.
-It's okay, you're safe, we're all safe... It's gonna be okay, trust me... Just breathe... Nobody is going to hurt your family... Everything is going to be fine... Do you hear me?-
I was so focused on his voice that I didn't even realize my breathing was evening and my hands weren't shaking anymore.

I took a few deep breaths to calm down and then my eyes finally put his face into focus. He was too damn close, so I instinctively pulled away.
-Uhmm, I...- I started to say, embarrassed, but he interrupted me.
-I'm... sorry... I was just trying to... help you...- He said, looking somewhere else while backing away.
-Uhmm, thank you... Let's just... Forget about it...- I said, not wanting anyone to know about my anxiety. I would have looked weak and not like a boss at all.
-What do you mean?-
-I mean that nobody needs to know...-
-I... I don't want to contradict you but... I think you should talk to someone about this... It's pretty serious... Since when have you....-
-Nobody will know... Period!- I interrupted him, irritated.
-Mantis, I was just...-
-Honeybee, leave me alone please...- I said, sitting back on my chair, feeling exhausted by what had just happened.
Honeybee left the room silently and I felt guilty about how I treated him. But then I started thinking about what he had told me about the Orbs. I had to do something about it. I couldn't wait for them to kill us all.
I decided to go to Beetle and talk to her, so I stood up and left my office to go to hers. I was so lost in thought that I completely forgot to knock on the door. I swung the door open and what I saw shocked me.