Broken Promises

3. Staring At The Stars

Your mother came by.

My mom let her in.

She came up the stairs to my room and stood in the doorway.

Her hair was neat, but messily combed.

Her lips were chapped and her eyes were red and puffy.

Her posture wasn't what it used to be, Isaac.

She used to stand tall and proud.

She used to be so warm, so inviting, so...full of life.

And now?

She looks like me.

Eyes sunken, pale skin, and lost eyes.

Haggard form, rumpled clothes, and rugged goodbyes.

But I bet she feels worse.

She shuffled over to the bed and sat on it.

I was laying down on the floor

Like everyday.

She doesn't say anything, but you always said silence speaks a thousand words.

I know she just wants to be with someone who understands.

Who feels as lifeless and colorless.

So we just sit there, for hours.

Neither one of us speaking a word, we just sit, and, drown.

She eventually leaves though.

I guess everyone leaves me at some point.

I know by the look on her face she isn't going to be coming back.

I understand.

The memories we've all created with you, here, are so blissful and beautiful.

Yet the pain that trails the memories sears my heart and resets the loop that never seems to end.

A rabbit hole that make you more and more despaired by every passing second.

I walk her out, but I stand there for several minutes in the front yard.

Staring.

At the stars.

Again.

If you're up there, Isaac, like you said you'd be, are you watching us right now?

Are you watching your mom crying as she gives the house one final look and me, one final smile?

Are you watching as I lose all control and sink to grass on my knees?

Are you watching me crumble and crash and collapse?

If you are, then why can't you do something about it?

Why can't you just come back to us?

Why did you have to leave me?

Why?