From Hate To Love

❀ chapter 1

Life...What a complicated word. Most people live them in pure happiness. Others in plain fear. I, different than anyone, never lived in a constant emotion. I was haunted by my past, present, and somehow even future. Perhaps, I lived the life I was supposed to, some say to me quite often. Although, I bear to disagree. I spent my life avoiding sadness, fights. All I truly desired was happiness but I never completely got it. I still remember one of the days when I thought I had finally found my happiness, and everything fell.

But I would always ask myself...What is life? How do we describe it? Life can be so many things... But a lot of scientists described it as the period between birth and death or the experience or state of being alive. It's a term undefined and vague...We never remember the day we were born, we just see pictures or hear stories. Likewise, we will never know which one will be our last day. Life is a term full of possibilities and basically a game of chances. However, some people believe each one of us was born to fulfill a certain destiny. Although how can we believe in this? Something so impossible to ever realize it is true or not. As I grew up, it became pretty common to hear people saying (sometimes sadly, other times aggressively) that 'life just has no meaning.' I never wanted to believe in it.

Life goes by... Each passing second something extraordinary happens. Each moment becomes a memory. Each new experience becomes an everyday routine. Each person that enters our life can damage it or heal it. But life itself isn't easy. It's a bumpy road, full of adventures, tears, laughs, smiles and so many other wonderful things.

And me, I had a lot to live. I was only sixteen. But I was a stranger. I lived all over a dream. I grew up hearing love songs, watching princesses meeting their prince charming who came to their rescue. I grew to love all those fairy tale stories, those silly love songs, those cliché romances...

Some said I was crazy, others that I needed help. But all I needed was love. Sometimes it's hard... How suddenly we look at someone differently, but that person is distant and impossible for you to ever reach. Somehow it always reminded me of the stars... So beautiful although extremely hard to reach. Even if it's hard, it's never impossible. They found a way to reach the stars above us, reach the silent moon, and reach a mysterious planet. But they never found a way to reach someone's heart, isn't that, right? But what if I tell you that you don't need any rocket to find love?

For me, all it took was a simple wish on a shooting star. A night in which I stood on the balcony praying at the stars as perhaps God was listening to me. I remember asking him for my family's health and for everyone in this cruel world who died of sadness. As I closed my eyes and thought about my life, it seemed short and meaningless. I reviewed in my head all the moments that made me feel ashamed, sad, happy... Life seemed not worthy of living. That was when I opened my eyes and I was greeted by the most magnificent shooting star. That was when God told me to embrace myself. I found myself in that night and I also found my one and true love or at least it was the beginning of this story.

The story I never thought I lived...The one where I met my soulmate.

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I watched the morning light feel my room through the cracks of my blinds. Another day,  another morning, another everything that I would never feel ready for. As I looked around the room I was met with an old picture. Me, my family, and our old friends or at least Gary's best friend and his parents. A boy who walked into my life and all of a sudden was gone. Someone who in reality I had small memories with. I just remembered his raven hair always messy, his auburn eyes that shined in the light like the sun itself, and his stupidly kind smile. Because of his parents, he left for another country. Gary never talked to him or at least he never told me... Somehow that boy always found a way to my heart. His name is a blur to me and asking my brother wouldn't be an option. I was met with uncertainty and curiosity but never dared to destroy the unknown boy. Inside me, somehow, I believed that by knowing more about this guy, I would end up destroying the perfect image I had of him, a hero. Or at least my hero. Why? Well...