From Cheerleader to Emo

Pressure

KATE MOORE

Zero, TJ, and Destrey looked at me expecting me to answer.

Did I want to be in their band?

Yes

Could I be in their band?

Yes

Would I be able to stand on a stage, with hundreds of beady eyes staring at me, judging me?

No

"Well?" TJ asked, waiting for me to answer.

They all looked so happy, so expectant for me to agree. I couldn't say no, but I couldn't say yes. So I did what I always do. Run

I stand up and book it out of the house. I run down the street and follow an old trail.

I run straight to the small park that my dad took me to when I was little, the park my parents met at.

Memories flood into my head, but I push them away.

I stop running and realize that it's pouring rain.

"Shit" I mutter.

I walk over to a large spruce tree and attempt to climb it. I grab a branch and pull myself up.

I close my eyes and start to sing quietly.

"I walk a lonely road. The only one that I have ever known. Don't know where it goes, but it's only me and I walk alone"

"Holy shit! We've been looking for you for like an hour!" a familiar voice yells.

I look down and see Destrey.

"Sorry, I just-"

"It's fine" he smiles sympathetically.

I jump down from my less than comfortable spot on a tree branch.

Destrey grabs his iPhone from his pocket and starts typing.

"What are you doing?" I ask, panicking.

"Texting the guys and telling them that I found you" He states.

"Um, can you give me like half an hour before you do that" I mumble awkwardly.

He nods and we both sit down under the spruce tree.

"Why did you run?" Destrey asks out of no where.

"I don't know, I guess it was just the fear of commitment," I answer "and the pressure of everyone's beady eyes staring at you"

"It's not only on stage, it's also at school, at the mall, everywhere" he whispers.

"How do you handle that?" I ask terrified of going to school tomorrow.

He looks me in the eyes and pulls up the sleeve of his black hoodie. His wrists are lined with red streaks. "No one can handle that" his voice was emotionless, but his green eyes were laced with sadness.

I gently pulled the sleeve of his sweater over his wrist, an smile sadly at him.

"I can't go to school tomorrow" I mumble shoving my face into my hands.

"Yes you can, you have TJ, Zero... you have me" he reassures me.

I take in a breath and stand up, "lets go... home" I smile, using the word home.

~~~~~~~

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