Funny How Love Is (Maylor AU)

Chapter 32

The music instructor smiled. "You do, huh?"

"Yeah," Brian murmured, slipping his hands into his pockets, "You know, f-for your own good."

Roger folded his arms over his chest. "And since when did you care about what's good for me and what's not?"

"I've always cared about you, Roger," the professor admitted bashfully, the corner of his lip perking upward ever so slightly.

The blonde stared at the taller man with lustful eyes, biting his lip hard as he murmured, "Is that why you didn't want to bring me here? Because you're afraid of what would happen if we were alone?" He shortened the gap separating him from Brian and began to play with the professor's tie, elaborating, "Truly alone?"

"Yes," Brian confessed, a strain to his hushed voice as he stepped back into the wall, trying to create a safer distance between the two of them. "Yes, I'm...very...afraid."

His throat started to close up, and his heart began to pound against his chest, his pants growing tighter and more constricting around the waist with each passing second. He clung onto the old-fashioned wallpaper, as if it would stop the overwhelming feeling washing over him, but his efforts didn't seem to make a difference. All he could think about was grabbing Roger and pushing him back into the counter across the room, lifting him up onto it and having him wrap his legs around him so they could relive the moment they shared at the university, this time without having to worry about who might see them or what consequences they might face because, as Roger said, they were alone, truly alone.

It was terrifying, the thoughts Brian was having about his colleague. Not even with Chrissie had he imagined doing the things he imagined doing with Roger, and it made him feel guilty because before meeting the blonde, the professor thought she might've been the one. The time they spent together, the way he felt every time he saw her, and the way their relationship was progressing made him believe that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her.

He could see their future clear as day. They'd be married with kids, living in a house that wasn't too small or too big but just right, in a neighborhood not too far away from the university. They'd commute to work together every day, kissing each other goodbye and hello as they parted ways in the morning and reunited in the afternoon. They'd take turns putting the kids to bed at night and afterwards, put each other to bed, being as quiet as they could manage so as to not wake their children up. It didn't seem like such a farfetched idea at the time, but now, knowing Roger and feeling the way he did about him, that future wasn't as clear.

He wondered what a future with Roger might look like, but he had trouble picturing it. There wasn't a doubt in his mind that Roger was what he wanted, with his perfectly messy blonde hair, captivating blue eyes, and mysterious past, but he couldn't see them together like he saw him and Chrissie, especially with the current social climate. It just wasn't feasible. Brian was a smart man who made smart choices, and Roger was not a smart choice. He knew that. But he couldn't deny his feelings anymore; he just couldn't.

"What can I do to make you less afraid, Brian?" the blonde questioned softly, taking the professor's hands in his and running his thumbs over the backs of them.

"I-I don't know," he stuttered, his mind spinning. He tried grounding himself by looking down at their entangled hands, but it didn't help. His head hurt, his chest hurt, and he was starting to feel sick to his stomach.

"Well, what do you like?" Roger asked, letting Brian's hands drop back down to his sides as he ran his own hands up the professor's tight chest and looked up at him, a seductive glimmer in his eyes. "I mean, I don't want to brag, but I've done just about everything and I'm pretty good at it all, so just tell me what to do and I will." He smirked, leaning up and nestling his head inside the crook of Brian's neck, where he pressed his lips against the soft skin and began to suck on it.

The professor's eyes fluttered shut as he fell even further back into the wall, sinking into that sunny feeling the blonde was making spread throughout his entire body the more he worked at the sensitive skin. Brian tried drowning out his accelerating thoughts by focusing on the buzz of the light hanging over the sink, but it was difficult. He couldn't stop thinking about Chrissie, and how what he was doing wasn't right.

"Stop," Brian blurted out, removing the blonde from his neck without making physical contact. "I-I don't like that."

Roger's eyebrows furrowed together as he tried to think of a new approach, looking at the bulge in the older of the two's pants. "O-Okay. Well...I could always..." his voice trailed off as he got situated on his knees and started to toy with the waistband of the professor's pants.

"No!" he exclaimed, shooing the blonde away from him.

The music instructor's confusion quickly changed into anger as he crossed his arms over his chest and asked from the ground, "Then what do you want me to do, Brian?"

The blush in the curly-haired man's cheeks deepened to another, more vibrant shade of red—the most intense it had been all night. He wanted Roger to do a lot of things, but he wasn't willing to admit that. Not yet, at least. He couldn't, and besides, they had more important matters to attend to—like their conversation from before, but it was clear that Roger had no intention of doing that.

Brian brought his hands up to the back of his neck and clasped them together, mumbling, "I just want you to talk to me." The blonde stared at him blankly, and so the professor fished for something to say, something to explain himself. "I mean, I-I just feel like I barely know you, Rog," he rambled, letting his arms fall back down to his sides as he motioned to the blonde at his feet, "And here you are, about to...to..."

Roger crossed his arms over his chest and cocked his head to the side. "Do you really want me to tell you my whole life's story right now? Is that what you want?"

"It might help..." he mumbled, matching the music instructor's stance as his hazel eyes glistened in the shadows.

The blonde heaved a sigh and picked himself up from the floor. "Come on, Brian. You and I both know where this is headed, so let's just get on with it, yeah? It's just you and me; we've got nothing to worry about!"

"That's not true!" the professor cried, throwing his arms out to the side and eliciting a frustrated eye roll from the shorter man. "Roger, you don't understand...I have a lot to lose here, and I'd like to know what I'm willing to lose it for. Is that too much to ask for?"

The blonde scoffed. "Jesus, Brian, did you give Chrissie this much trouble?"

"She didn't have a boyfriend or people calling her by a different name!" he shouted, offended by Roger's response.

"You think she doesn't have a boyfriend?" The blonde laughed, shaking his head in disbelief at the professor's naivety. "She's fucking married, you idiot!"