Funny How Love Is (Maylor AU)

Chapter 99

Roger held his box tightly to his chest and watched with blurry vision as Brian's car pulled away from the curb and rolled down the near empty street. The sun shone brightly in the sky, bestowing the thick blanket of snow that hugged all of London with a blinding quality he wished he had sunglasses for. Blinking away the thorny tears in his eyes, he waited until the vehicle rounded the corner and disappeared from his sight to retreat to the depressing apartment complex he hoped never to return to.

Each step hurt more than the last, his feet feeling like bricks as he dragged himself toward the building, shamefully pushing the button to his and Tim's flat and waiting to be let in like a visitor instead of a tenant. His shaky breaths were visible in the cold winter air as silence permeated the tense atmosphere, the blonde surveying his surroundings with squinted eyes.

The deafening buzz of the lock system startled him, but he wasted no time in slipping inside, standing in the foyer and staring at the stairwell that led to the second floor. His stomach turned to knots, knowing that now was his only chance to escape; to walk back out and disappear forever. No Tim, no Liz, no anyone. He could start over on his own; make a whole new life for himself without anyone else telling him what to do or how to do it.

With his head turned over his shoulder and his bottom lip pulled behind his front teeth, he was too caught up in his own thoughts to hear the subtle creaking of the stairs, or the soft gasp that slipped past Tim's lips as he saw his boyfriend through the dark shades cast over his eyes. The brunette stumbled down the rest of the stairs, scaring Roger back into the door, and threw himself at the blonde, squeezing him tight to make sure his hangover wasn't deceiving him. Sure enough, it wasn't.

"Jesus Christ," Tim mumbled into the side of Roger's face that was smushed against his, "I thought I'd lost you forever."

The blonde who'd froze in his boyfriend's grasp squeezed his eyes shut, wrapping his hands around Tim's arms and gently plucking the brunette off of him. The two men stared at one another expectantly, Roger noticing for the first time the alcohol lingering on Tim's breath. Well, he'd already found his hangover cure, the blonde thought to himself, feeling quite dismayed when instead he should have been relieved, or even proud. It meant that Tim didn't need him as much as he thought he did.

The brunette raised his hand and dared to tuck a stray piece of hair behind the blonde's ear, Roger flinching at the gesture. Tim's hand dropped to his side, and he swallowed the lump that formed in his throat. "You had me worried sick, you know," he confessed, the awkward tension between them raging with a ferocity that couldn't be ignored, "I looked for you everywhere at the damn school and I couldn't find you."

"Maybe because I didn't want you to find me," Roger retorted, a bitterness to his hushed voice as he clung to the door behind him.

"Roger, I-I know you're upset with me—"

"Upset?" the blonde repeated, shaking his head, "No, I'm not upset with you. I'm...I'm..." His voice trailed off into an incomprehensible stammer, trying to find the word to describe how he felt. The problem was, he didn't know how he felt. He felt a lot of things, too many to put into words, and so, instead, he pressed his lips together and exhaled slowly through his nose, saying, "I'm tired, okay? I'm tired, and I just want to go upstairs and, and act like last night never happened. Is that too much to ask for?" Roger crossed his arms uncomfortably, anticipating his boyfriend's response.

It surprised him when all Tim did was shake his head, awkwardly slide his one hand into the blonde's—the other in the one of the box's handles—and lead him up the stairwell to their flat, passing by the dying plant that no longer had the extra key to their flat buried within its dry soil—or so he thought. He trudged down the typically dark corridor now flooded with sunlight, following his boyfriend as though he wasn't there, somewhere outside his body, and stopped at the door he instantly resented. Tim looked back at him and flashed a small grin in his direction, a grin that went unrequited and pushed the two into the apartment where Nana sat on the couch with her bags by her feet.