Helen

Fear

A few days have past, a few missed calls from Helen too. I love her and there was no denying there, but I couldn't do this. This sort of love felt impossible and very forbidden. It was Monday and this time, undoubtedly I would have to see her, not that I would mind, but I wouldn't know what to say or react.
I arrived to school and the second I see John, I run to him and we both hug in silence for minutes. I had already told John everything that happened.
- You know that you are about to see her, right? - John asked.
- Ya, I know, but I can't miss class.
We headed over to class and there she was. She looked at me and immediately looked away, didn't say hi, not even a single smile. I did the same but texted her before the class saying that I need to speak to her, however I was left on read.
Class was like a living nightmare it felt like we couldn't look at each other for more than five seconds, she looked tired and almost as if she didn't wanna be there, she barely sat down in her desk (which is right in front of John and I) and constantly sighed and tears were constantly overflowing my eyes. One of the times, I felt a tear fell down as she looked at me. She saw it, there was no denying, but didn't say a word, she looked away and pressed her hands onto her face.

John was constantly making sure I was okay. He passed me a note that said "Talk to her. I'll wait for you outside".
The bells rang and a overpowering sensation of fear spread through my body and I felt intact. John reassured me that everything would me fine, but the confidence in his determined words didn't feel so relaxing.
I walked over to her desk and I every second felt like an hour.
- Hey, I need to talk to you.
- Oh, I have a meeting right now, maybe anoth...
- No... I really need to talk to you. - I interrupted.
She sighed and said:
- Go on...
- I'm terribly sorry for what happened last time, it was never my intention to come off as rude or to hurt you. Please, forgive me. I've just been going through so much.
- I already forgave you. I didn't mind what happened. - she said in a sarcastic manner.
- You couldn't even look at me throughout the entire lesson.
- Listen, Carmen. I really like you... too much probably. But please, just never do that again, talk to me if you need anything, that's why I'm here for. I called you 20 times and texted you around 30 and I got not even a single "hello" back. Please, don't do this again.
- I won't, im sorry! I'll talk to y...
She hugged me and didn't let go until we heard footsteps from outside.
She shuddered in my ear:
-Call me tonight. - Winked and left.
I ran to John and as I ran I felt all the fear getting out of my body. I felt happier, even though I would know how to fix the situation.