Pistanthrophobic

Prologue (?)

Working abroad has been really hard. I just came back to UAE after staying almost a year in the Philippines. It was harder to leave the country this time because I didn't just leave my family, I also had to leave my 3-month-old son.

You see, I got pregnant while working as a receptionist of the government hotel here. Back then, I was in a relationship with my Jordanian co-worker and we were together for over 3 years when I got pregnant. I thought we will be together forever. I thought he will ask me to marry him after we found out about my pregnancy. But it all came crashing down when I found out that I was not his ONLY girlfriend.

Just few days before leaving the country, I received a message on my Facebook. It says that he is in an on and off relationship with another Filipina from our accounting department. The massage was from her, telling me about their relationship.

My world crumbled and I cried for days.

I confronted him and he admitted that he started cheating on me just 4 months into our relationship. And that he was also arranged to be married to a Jordanian girl that his parents chose for him. I found out about his engagement when I was begging him, yes begging him to choose me and to marry me so I didn't have to go home to give birth.

It is strictly against the law to get pregnant if you're not married in any Muslim country. Though I have heard some stories about women getting pregnant and didn't faced any jail time of punishment because they got married before that child was born.

I was thinking that maybe, if we'll get married, I can still give birth here and I will still be with him.

But because he refused to be married to me, I had no choice but to go back home and give birth there.

And now I'm back. The stronger me. I have sworn off men. I promised not to date anymore, not to make the same mistake, not just to myself but to my son as well. He deserves a life where he will be loved and not disregarded like what his father did.

But then I met him. The guy with a devil may care attitude and with a body carved from Zues.

Should I follow my brain and refuse him for the sake of my son? Or should I obey my heart and accept him for the sake of happiness?