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san was heading to wooyoung's house with quick steps. today was their one month anniversary and he wanted to spend all the day with his boyfriend.
nothing new, they are always together but it will feel more special today. not even the cold september day is going to stop him.
the air was still humid because of the week full of cold rains and it smelled like dump ground. the trees were waltzing in the cool autum breeze and their once dark green leaves started to become red, yellow or bronze. the sun's light was falling lazy on the grass making the raindrops shine.
he approached wooyoung's front door happily and knocked on it but no one answered. maybe wooyoung is in the shower. he decided to go inside anyway and wait for his boyfriend to come out.
his family was out of town with some business so it will be just the two of them most probably all the week. he took off his shoes as silently as possible, not wanting to be heard in order to make a surprise but the one who was surprised was him.
in the living room wooyoung and hongjoong were making out as if there was no tomorrow and san could feel his heart stopping for 2 seconds and then starting to beat again.
he just sat there in the door frame, biting his lower lip to stop the tears that soon will start falling on the cold floor of wooyoung's living room. is this really happening or is it a bad dream?
"oh god am i this invisible?!" san finally said and hongjoong and wooyoung turned their attention to him.
"shit! for how long have you been there?" wooyoung was now starting to panic. the shine in his eyes started to fade away slowly as on san's face appeared a sad smile.
"this is the only thing you are going to say? for how long have i been here? long enough to stop believing your fucking lies!" he said and rushed out of wooyoung's house.
he expected to see wooyoung running after him yet there he was, alone on the street in the cold autum breeze. he felt dumb for thinking that wooyoung is able to love him the way he loves him. his ex was profound but not when he loved. because he never did.
it was just mercy. he knew from a long time ago that san puts effort into loving someone and the only thing he could do was to be with him 1 month and then go back to his fuckboy life.
hongjoong was able to love him like that. love him today, have sex with him tomorrow and act like wooyoung was never part of his life the next week. this is what attracted wooyoung from the beginning. just this one-day-love that san wasn't able to give. if he loved ,he loved.
the chill wind was the hand that whipped his tears now. the cold hand that leaves dead flowers and broken hearts in her back.
he didn't know where should he go now. his mom would ask hundreds of questions and wooyoung is part of the past. yeosang surely was partying somewhere and even if he wasn't he won't be able to understand san. at least not now.
he was just staring at the now gray sky, hot tears rolling on his cheeks. he felt as lost as never. is a break up fucking with you that much?
a text made him look down from the sky and he searched for his phone in the pocket of his blue jeans.
ara 🤢
"i'm not working today why don't you come over? y'know, to keep me company? 😉"
yeah why shouldn't he go over? after all ara is the only person he has in his life now. he hates her with a burning pleasure but it wasn't the right time to refuse her. going home and answering stupid questions is worse than spending half of the day in hell.
"only if you promise me you are going to make me feel better"
"oh sure thing baby ;)"
with that he started to walk to ara's house. he whipped his tears with the sleeve of his hoodie and slapped himself internally. he cried enough for someone indifferent. he lost too much energy in trying to make someone who doesn't give a fuck happy. he gave away too many parts from him to cover wooyoung's missing ones.
if ara is going to make him get over this he'll even marry her. just to stop his intoxicated mind to think about pain and how many wounds will be on his heart.
his once green soul was starting to die now. autum came in his heart making the nature wither. if the star in wooyoung's eyes fell-- the rose in his body died a long time ago, poisoning his heart and soon his whole being.
