✦it's okay to not be fine✦

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"what happened? have you cried?" ara asked worried when she saw san's red eyes and his sad facial expression

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"what happened? have you cried?" ara asked worried when she saw san's red eyes and his sad facial expression. she grabbed his hand and guided him to her white room.

a pink blanket was on her bed giving a bit more color to her simple white room. some sexy clothes were on a chair as well and that made san think she might have took the 'make me feel better' too serious.

"you can tell me. you know i am able to keep a secret" and she was right. ara never told secrets even if you had hurt her. in her opinion you can revenge in other ways but not telling a secret.

even after san rejected her multiple times she still had kept his secrets. she was like a journal. you can throw it in the corner of your table and forget about its existence until you really need it. the journal never told your secrets even tho you stopped using it.

"i caught him cheating on me" san said sobbing and for the first time he came to ara's house he looked at her. ara looked confused at him since he never told her about wooyoung.

"my boyfriend...well ex boyfriend" he continued when he saw ara wasn't understanding.

"his name is wooyoung and i love him with my whole heart. he's like the sun to a sunflower to me, i can't without him. i've been through so much to make him be with me and when everything seemed right he cheated on me" san explained as more tears fell from his eyes down on his knees.

ara didn't say anything, instead she made san look at her and gave him a comforting hug. she didn't know what to say in a situation like this. it was the first time in her life when she saw san like this.

so hopeless. he looked like a zombie. a sad zombie, only tears being the alive thing from him, hot tears rolling on his cheeks and falling on her shoulder as she hugged him tight.

they stood there in a hug for almost 3 minutes as more sobs escaped san's mouth. she cried too, when san rejected her but it didn't seem like she was affected by it that much. so she wasn't the right person to say 'i know how you feel i've been through it'.

"i don't want to cry" he said and stopped hugging her.

"it's okay to cry. it's okay to be sad." she sighed and smiled shortly.

"i'm sure he isn't crying after me...then why would i cry after him?"

"you were always different. you always felt sad things twice sadder than the others. and you aren't heartless. so cry, sannie. cry your heart out. i'll be the only person who knows you did it. and then, stand up and show that bastard you don't need him" ara grabbed his hand and intertwined their fingers.

san smiled sadly and turned his attention to her soft gaze, her eyes being watery. he wasn't able to understand why he felt that safe and loved with ara but he did.

maybe after the roses' thorns leave you wounds the petals stroke them slowly, leaving a kiss in order to make the wounds heal.

ara's hands were the ones that would heal the big bloody wound in his heart today. the person he dislikes will be the goodnight kiss for this night and the sunlight from tomorrow morning. of course, not the sun itself just a little ray that will try its best to make the snowdrops bloom after a terrific winter.

he could feel how he was starting to die inside. how everything that was once green was slowly turning into dry, brown flowers. poison was falling from the wound on his heart making everything disappear in a black sea of pain.

"what should i do to make you feel a bit better?" ara smiled softly.

"i wish you would be able to delete someone. to delete someone's existence" san said and whipped his tears.

"i can kill. for you i would go to jail" she said and san giggled.

"don't risk your liberty for a me ara...i've been like this all my life. only this month made me a little more colorful. rainbows form after storms...and storms come back. there will be a rainbow again, but first the storm has to stop" san said and took a deep breath.

ara looked at him in awe, his words making her feel something inside. maybe amazement? she never saw this side of san nor she knew he was able to talk like this.

she always saw him like a regular boy that skipped classes in high school and smoked in a park. regular and ordinary but even that normality was special if it was about san.

she never knew how to play with words like this and whenever she heard someone talking like this she was amazed.

"can i stay with you for a few days?" he asked and turned his attention to ara's happy facial expression.

the last time they spend the night together was when they were 10 and san's mother would have ordered pizza for them to watch a movie with san's dad.

"of course you can! you can even move here forever it won't bother me" ara said and san started laughing for the first time this morning. she indeed made him feel better.

but this is just because he's sad. if he wasn't sad ara would have jumped on him already. bitch but a true friend. he shouldn't be tricked by her kindness tho. after all hongjoong was kind at first too. he then stole his boyfriend.

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𝐒𝐎 𝐅𝐀𝐑 𝐀𝐖𝐀𝐘. (𝗐𝗈𝗈𝗌𝖺𝗇) ✓Where stories live. Discover now