MY CELEBRITY ROOMMATE (Romantic Comedy)

CHAPTER 11 - NEW TENANT

JIYONG's POV

If I only knew that I would meet a girl as troublesome as her, I would've signed up for the army. She gave me a dose of 'Dara disasters' a couple of times yesterday - hitting TOP hyung was her finale. It was really fortunate that TOP hyung didn't seem to mind especially when I agreed to lend him my credit card to buy the 'fantabulous' pair of shoes he was eyeing.

Today is my rest day since I already finished recording my parts on the new song we were making. I was stuck in the apartment with Dara-ahjumma the whole day. Since early morning, she had been doing these totally weird stunts. Dara was popping out everywhere while doing strange things like wearing shades with spring eyes, trying to be a human pinwheel, and telling a very old joke that had been buried in the dirt together with the comedians who used those punch lines. I don't have a fucking clue what she was trying to accomplish. She just looked ridiculous.

My last resort was to ask her to watch TV again just to make her stop doing whatever the heck it was she was doing. She badly needed to make herself aware of the entertainment industry to be less of a lunatic that she already was. I was explaining things to her while pointing out the idols/actors/actresses who appeared. Gosh, I didn't know watching TV could be such a pain.

But, she continued to act funny. Was she trying to make me laugh? If so, she was failing miserably. In the end, I just gave up and went inside the room. A few minutes have passed and here she comes, rushing inside the room with a bright smile on her face. The words peace and quiet seemed to be a faraway dream since I took her in.

"Jiyong! I finally thought of a VERY FUNNY joke! Here it goes...A culprit was brought to trial but he wouldn't speak. The lawyer asked him several questions and he didn't answer any one of them. Finally, the irritated judge screamed at him and asked him to speak. Guess what the culprit said..." She narrated while oozing with enthusiasm.

"The culprit said Dara-ahjumma should follow his example and should shut her mouth once in a while," I answered without even glancing at her.

"WRONG!" She exclaimed excitedly. Did she really think I was even paying attention to her moronic story?

"The culprit said - 'I thought this is a hearing? I didn't know I should also do the speaking'. HA HA HA HA HA! Isn't it hilarious?!" She said. Oh please... I literally had goosebumps up to my scalp! I swear, I have never heard such a joke that irks the hell out of me.

"Dara-ahjumma, please don't have kids. Your genes can be catastrophic if passed on," I warned her after recovering from the damage that her corny joke had done.

"Wait, I still have another one!" She exclaimed. No thank you, my ears are still bleeding from the last one.

"Go back in your cave, ahjumma," I said.

But she continued bugging me. Out of frustration, I've drafted two songs while channeling my anger to the lyrics. Dara-ahjumma was sucking the life out of me. She just wouldn't stop telling those stupid jokes that she got from the ancient dynasty.

"Ah! Here's another one. This one is really funny! Omo, you have to go to the restroom first and unload, you might pee in your pants from laughing so hard!" She stated while suppressing her excitement to blurt out another of her craziness.

"Can you please stop it?!" I begged her. My brain was about to explode, seriously.

"Use EMPIRE in a sentence," she said. Good heavens, please make her stop! MAKE HER STOP!

"Dara-ahjumma, I'm warning you!" I shouted in panic while she was about to drop her killer punch line that would surely scar my brain.

"Ready! EM (aim)-PIRE (fire)!" She yelled while even doing the hand movements of a gunshot.