trying to save us

viii. a process

Sleep didn't come easy that night; Sean found himself taking melatonin to get his mind at rest so he could get the much needed night of rest.

His restless night was apparent when he caught sight of himself in his fogged up bathroom mirror, his hair dripping wet from the shower he had just taken.

Dark circles were slowly formulating around his eyes, as he found it impossible to get some rest. The exhaustion and frustration apparent on his face as his eyebrows and mouth sketched a near permanent frown. He roughly rubbed his face with his calloused hands hoping to get his mind to think of anything but her.

Slipping underneath his covers, he plopped down into his bed, the spot having been occupied for so long that the bed had formed an indentation around his body.

His pillows soaked by the dampness of his hair in combination with the dampness of his eyes. He didn't know if it was because of the lack of sleep or because of the lack of explanation but Sean didn't know how else to react to the situation other than finally allowing himself to cry.

It's almost as if all of his hard work of getting closer to Kaycee has dissipated in a matter of hours. The girl had taken a while for her to completely open up to him but he had gotten her to do it eventually.

But now her trust was broken, and he had no idea why.

His mind was going through a million different scenarios to help explain why Kaycee reacted the way she did; he wanted answers and he wasn't sure if they were ever even going to come.

Closing his eyes, he tried to sleep the pain away. Rest was going to come easy but he knew that at least sleeping would give him the escape he needed from his thoughts.

Fortunately for him, the melatonin he had taken before his shower was finally kicking in, his eyes growing heavy from exhaustion. The slight burn behind his eyelids as he rubbed the rest of his tears away onto his pillowcase.

But even with the help of hormone, he was only able to sleep peacefully for two hours.

The irritating beep of his alarm causing him to jolt awake, he had complete forgotten that he had an early shift the next day.

Work had been better for him lately, being closer to Kaycee again helped ease his mind whenever he thought back to the accident. The first couple of days following the accident, Sean couldn't bear to look his captain in the eyes; seeing his face always took him back to the worst night of his life. The night you almost lost the woman he was sure he was meant to grow old with.

But as they slowly began rekindling their connection, work had gotten easier to deal with. He stopped remembering the night of the accident because his mind was always far too occupied by a certain someone. For the past couple of days, his coworkers thought he looked like a smitten, flustered school boy that had finally gotten attention from his crush.

They'd teased him about how smiley he'd been lately and how they would always catch him zoning out at his desk or during meetings, the gentle smile upon his lips always being a clear indication of what, or rather who, he was thinking of.

He knew they were gonna notice his change of attitude. His demeanor was the complete opposite of the way it was when he had clocked out yesterday. They would know that something was up, and he didn't know how to answer them. So he did what he always does when put in complicated situations, he ignores all outside factors and works ten times harder.

Sean Lew was a hard worker as is, but his friends and coworkers knew that when he was going at rapid fire speed
on his workload, it was a big warning sign to back off and give him space.