Unknown | NCT Jaemin ff | Part 1

Chapter 13

Mina PoV

My annoying alarm decided to wake me up this morning. I groaned as I rolled over to turn it off. I lied in bed for a few moments, eventually deciding to get up. I brushed my teeth and changed into a new set of clothes before heading downstairs to eat breakfast. I quickly ate and rushed out the door. Not forgetting to take my meds, I headed off to school. I didn't really say bye to anyone because I was lonely as fuck in the house.

Today, I decided to take the bus. I plugged in my AirPods as the bus pulled up to the stop. After scanning my card, I took a seat near the back and stared out the window. There was always something so fascinating about staring out a window on the bus. On a car, sure it was fun and all that, but on a bus, everything just seemed so much more captivating.

Unfortunately, my window gazing came to end as I neared the campus. I got off and greeted some of the freshmen who were standing near the gate. They squealed upon seeing me because apparently, I'm famous guys. Anywaayss, I walked to my homeroom, eager to Jaemin. I was going to thank him for staying with me the whole day yesterday. I had a smile, plastered to my face as I walked through the door, but it soon faded.

Jaemin was sitting next to Yerim. And they were chatting happily.

My smile turned into a frown. What was Yerim doing next to Jaemin?

I brushed it off as nothing and sat down in a different seat, behind Jaemin. I gently tapped his shoulder, getting his attention. Yerim glared at me.

"Mina!" Jaemin smiled.

I smiled back. "Hey. Um...I just wanted to thank you for staying with me yesterday. You really didn't have to do that."

Jaemin chuckled to himself. "It was nothing. Did you take your medicine this morning?"

"Yeah. Uhm, do you want to eat together at lunch again? Or did you have some plans with...Yerim?" I said, glancing over to Yerim who was still glaring at me.

"Uh...I was actually going to eat with Yerim today. Maybe...tomorrow?"

I nodded in understanding. "I'll go and find, Yeseul and Jeno then."

"Sorry." He mouthed.

I shook my head and smiled. I got up from my seat and walked to my original seat. Someone suddenly stuck out their leg and I tripped. I fell to the ground and the contents in my bag fell all over. I have one of those bags you slung over your shoulder. (Sry, I forgot what they were called) I quickly picked up my stuff out of embarrassment. My cheeks felt hot and I could feel a strong urge to cry because I felt so stupid.

Students around me were laughing at me and it felt like middle school all over again.

"Mina." I heard a voice call.

I looked up, a teary-eyed.

"Are you okay?" Jaemin asked.

I nodded. "Yeah." I placed my stuff back into my bag and asked the teacher who had now arrived to use the restroom. She said yes and I quickly rushed out of the classroom.

"Mina!" I heard Jaemin call after me.

I didn't stop. I couldn't stop. I rushed into the bathroom and hid in the stall. I just sat on the toilet and cried. I really couldn't this world anymore. I couldn't handle how much hate was in this world.

Sitting on the toilet, alone, crying, reminded me of how lonely I felt during middle school. If only mom or grandpa were here. If only they were here to tell me everything would be okay. But they weren't here. No one was here. Yeseul and Jeno had each other to rely on. I was slowly leaving Jaemin. My brothers weren't here either. They were always out and about. My dad was always busy with the company. And my sister. She was at college. I couldn't possibly disturb her and her studies.

"Mina, please. Please come outside. Please. I just need you to talk with me okay? Please. I don't want you to hurt yourself." A voice begged outside the door.

It was Jaemin's voice. I didn't move.

"Mina. Listen to me just this once. I need to talk to you. I need you to hear me out on this." He said.

I wiped my tears, and hesitantly opened the bathroom door. Jaemin stood before me, tears streaming down his face.

"Mina!" He said, upon seeing me. He engulfed me into a hug. "Thank god you're okay." 

I just nodded in his hug, not reacting. 

"Look, I just...need you to listen to me. The other day, while we were at your house, I heard what you said about leaving me." He said, gently. 

My eyes widened. I gently pushed him away and stared directly into his eyes. He smiled. 

"I heard everything. I heard you talking about Yerim and although I don't exactly know your past with her, I can tell it isn't very good. So, I just wanted to tell you now. I like you, Mina. I really, really like you. Everytime I see you, it's like the world is just perfect. Everytime I touch you, butterflies appear in my gut and it won't go away and these good feelings just fill me up." He confessed. 

I stood there, frozen. Speechless. I didn't what to say. I didn't think I could say anything.  

"But that's not the whole reason of why I wanted to talk to you. The reason is that I'm letting you go. I'm going to give up on you just as you said you were going to give up on me. We'll leave each other on good terms. You don't have to feel any pressure about making me feel bad, although I do hate the idea of you giving up on our friendship." 

I thought Jaemin's words. So the entire time, he knew that I was going to leave. He knew that I was going to give up. 

"If only it didn't have to end this way right?" I said, smiling weakly. My gaze fell to the ground. "You know, I never thought I was good enough for you. You seemed like an angel to me. When you walked in the door on the first day, something about you caught my eye. Maybe it was your smile, maybe it was your eyes, maybe it was just the energy that radiated off of you that I was attracted to. No matter what it was, I just couldn't look away and in the end I find myself to be attracted to you. I like you a lot, too, Na Jaemin. But unfortunately, in this life we do not belong to each other. We do not get to be together. So maybe in our next lives?" 

With every word, I could feel my world starting to crumble. Piece by piece. 

This is just another person who is leaving. Everything will be alright, I was telling myself. 

"Maybe." Jaemin said. 

I looked up and say Jaemin all teary-eyed. I reached up a hand to wipe away his tears because I couldn't bear to see him sad over something so unimportant like me. 

"Don't worry. You will find someone you love soon. Sooner or later, I will be nothing but something from your past. We may ocassionally cross paths, but by that time, we will have forgotten each other." I tried to force a smile, but that only made the tears that had formed in my eyes fall down the sides of my face. 

"I'm sorry I couldn't protect you well enough." He whispered. 

I shook my head. I tip-toed and gently placed a kiss on Jaemin's cheek. 

"I love you, Na Jaemin." I managed to choke out. "Please don't forget me."

"I love you more, Lee Mina. And I will always hold a place for you in my heart. I will wait for you. I promise." Jaemin said. He placed a kiss on my forehead before looking at me with those sad eyes of his and walking away. 

The moment he took a step away, I could feel myself breaking down. 

The hardest thing that I have ever needed to do has just been accomplished in a matter of minutes. The most heartbreaking thing that has ever happened to me just occurred in a matter of minutes. The biggest mistake I ever made, happened in a matter of minutes.